Bid Adieu

She was matured as well as innocent, intelligent as well as beautiful, religious and also trendy, old in the body and young at heart.

As I rushed to the hospital in the morning of 30th June, I was shattered to see her round, exuberant face reduced to a thin skeletal structure. I remembered my shock when I first saw my thin father in his death bed 13 years ago. The thought was involuntary and highly coincidental. Was that a premonition?

She welcomed me with a faint smile from her ICU bed.

On the next day morning i.e. 1st July, my brother told me to take her blessings as she might not remember my birthday. It is quite natural for anyone to lose track of the day, date and time when one is bedridden but not my Mother. The moment I held her hand, she opened her tired eyes and gave her right hand to me as her wish and blessing. I was touched and deeply moved. Such love is possible only by a Mother.

This was not the first time that she was playing with life and death. But she could not win over death beyond 5th July.

Moreover, this was the time I had experienced and witnessed closely how one can extend their hands unconditionally at times of crisis in spite of their painful limitations. It is impossible to return our gratitude to such fine souls. Also, I am greatly indebted to all those lovely people who expressed their deep condolences by personal visits, phone calls and mails.

Ironically, I also happened to be at the receiving end of highly insensitive attitude. It should be my fault to expect some courtesy, diplomacy and respect in their expressions. What more can I say than ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.’ With this understanding, I stay disconnected from such expressions.

My routine is back with the usual smile and laughter. I don’t sit and cry for the loss because I know that the karmic tie is severed for the good of her soul. I also don’t need anybody’s time or efforts to cheer me up as I am quite balanced in spite of the memories that turn my eyes moist, thanks to the knowledge of the Rishis because it is in solitude and silence that I derive maximum inner strength. Thankfully I am IN peace with the truth.

I have bid both parents my beloved adieu with a heavy heart to the cycle of Time at different periods. But I have my Spiritual Father who is with me in every step. I am thankful to the stars for shining their grace on me!!!

And hence there is no bidding adieu to the role of a daughter in this life or in future lives....

Who is Ravan?

Watched ‘Ravanan’ (Tamil version) yesterday night.

What went wrong, I don’t know. I don't want to know also. The lead cast is envious, the director is a class apart, the locales are stunningly beautiful, the cinematography breathtaking, lots of advertisement & promotion at the national and international levels….. in spite of all these and the mind blowing efforts of the entire team, the film didn’t touch me at all. I salute the team for their efforts however, for the movie is filmed in water and only water, though the epic is twisted to the core.

The theatre jeered during the scenes of R which I didn’t like a bit. I felt an acute pain in my heart for her sake. It dawned on me suddenly that the whole world might react in the same way and that pained me more.

Everyone deserves a life of self esteem, respect & choice and we have no right to hurt anyone through words, gestures, thoughts or in any other way. We easily forget that Ram will never do such a jeering act any day. I am sure these stone throwers are not Ramas in any standard. Such perversion is unbearable as my sensitivity doesn’t allow me to tolerate these days.

I did not wish to be a part of such an indecent crowd and irreversible act of subtle barbarism. I sincerely prayed for her peace and that’s what I could do at the best.

There's a silver lining of course during those couple of hours in the theatre -

The stranger girl of around 2 years old who I happened to see holding her father's hand going to the rest room during intermission reciprocated my smile so wholeheartedly that I was touched by her innocence. The typical Tamil girl with plaited pony tails looked like an angel of great beauty and full of light even to my dull eyes. I don't know who that girl is and may not recognise also next time but pray she grows up into a fine woman retaining the same innocent smile throughout.

May Love and Light fill everyone’s life!

An insight free flowing...

No relationship is permanent. No person can give that eternal everlasting happiness. Nobody can understand your mind or heart. Nobody can make you understand yourself better. None can find time for you when you need them the most as there’s a price tag for everything.

You will be respected and worshipped at one moment and portrayed as a monster at another. Your love will be tossed and manipulated. Your innocence will be (mis)used. You will be made voiceless and veinless. You will always be surrounded by judgements and politics. Your self pity would be aggrandized by your bleeding woes. You appear as an utter failure, as a walking skeleton.

Most importantly, you forget to realize that you are capable of inflicting the above on others and eternally shuttle between hatred and love.

These are the curses of relationships because these were your choices. In fact, these are just some of the pointers of the unseen laws that could be found in the life book of every bound soul in these changing times. It makes no difference whether you are a sannyasi or a householder externally. You got to go through all these and more.

Move out mentally from everything, everybody - the sooner the better. Don’t attach yourself to the limitations. Give a pause to every emotion as a mark of respect to act it out but never rub them on others. Laugh and cry when you wish to. Discard anger and hatred. The more candid you are to your self, the better. Don’t be a hypocrite to impress yourself that you are of strong made. Remember that everything in this Universe crumbles at one point or other. You are no exception unless you are born enlightened. Assume yourself as a small baby in the arms of the Whole. Your intelligence is not even a dot in the Greater Intelligence. Remember this and be humble.

Slowly break free of the bondages mentally. Become a rebel at heart. Seek the solitude in the midst of chaos. See the grandeur and harmony around you in nature. Learn to see only the essence in beings. Respect your self, life, words, commitments, duties and responsibilities as opportunities given especially for you to grow.

Thank every soul that gives you pain because you are learning life's lessons very fast not in linear fashion but in geometrical proportion. At the same time, never allow anyone to take you for granted. You don't need to outsmart anybody but just be alert.

There’s greater peace in seeing and seeking this perspective even when you don’t understand anything. It is not easy. It is not impossible too.

You are not alone. There’s an ever smiling and shining face in you that is your eternal companion. Think and act as if you are divine. You will become one slowly. In the process you may be reminded of your (in)glorious past by others to pull you down. Don’t pay attention. Ignore. Past is dust. Just move on…. Just revel in love.

Because love is the only way - the way of the Christ, Krishna, Allah and all faiths. There’s no other way that can liberate you. There’s no other way that can lead you to your original nature.

There's only one mantra in this magnificent cosmos that is reverberating eternally for your sake to listen. There's only one affirmation taught by the teachers from time immemorial.

Yes. That is "Love is our nature."

Are your bags ready?

One more Akshaya Tritiya is back (May 16) and many more pamphlets, innovative advertisements and attractive offers too are back. One can witness mad rush at gold and silver shops on that day. Many ‘ordered’ bags are getting ready at the shops to be delivered to the customers on that day.

In these times of global economic crisis, my husband jovially remarked once that I am never a good strategic planner as I don’t even have the inclination to buy gold in terms of assets and that we could have been millionaires if only I had the gold madness a bit like others. I have madness on other subjects but not on gold, much to his misfortune. Thankfully he is also not an avid investor. :D

Seriously speaking, the original meaning of the day seems to be completely lost in today’s world where trade and commerce are exercised even in relationships. The Golden Day is converted into Gold day to suit our convenience and selfishness. God would surely laugh at His children’s nonsensical pranks. But let us also remember that He is capable of raising His voice a bit any time like a concerned parent and the result might end up like the one in the film ‘2012’.

Whether one accepts ‘2012’ as a fact or fiction, I could well agree to one fact that such things have happened in the past. The disintegration of Pangaea to the present state of Gaia is explained only in this way.

Talking of the film, there is nothing scary about it though. In fact I was overawed by the graphics wherein the power of nature especially water could completely submerge the entire California state to start with, in a few minutes. There was one moment that touched me deeply and that was the US President’s decision to stay back.

Thanks to Atul’s pestering, I enjoyed watching the fantasy movie ‘Percy Jackson and the lightning thief’. This is a film for teenagers. Here, the main protagonist is a young son of Water God of Greece and in the climax, it is the water that comes to the rescue of the boy. Actually, more than anything else, the power of water is what is overwhelming me these days.

My sixth sense is warning me, ‘Beware! This Power of Water is in abundance on earth. Are your bags ready?’

At least from this Akshaya Tritiya onwards, if only we collectively change every selfish act into a selfless one, we would never face another disintegration or dislocation of land and water.

Can I be strict?

Today morning I proved myself that I too can be strict (only a bit) when the situation demands. You may wonder who were at the receiving end of my free flowing surgical words for more than 5 minutes. :)

Do not assume that I gave my peace of mind to them. I don’t do such things. But I really wished I could give some peace into those teenage minds.

Well, all those youngsters who got it from me royally learnt very important lessons of life –

• Respect your commitment
• Respect your own words
• Respect others’ time

They all know now that I who pamper them at all times can be strict as well at times. They cannot get away with irregularities and insincerity with me for long though they wouldn't have meant it. :)

I think they may not need another dose for some time. Maybe I should not reawaken them again on the above lines. :)

A blog awaits on teenage minds for a long time. Hope I would find time soon. :D :D

Have I grown up?

It’s been a while since I have updated the blog.

Let me see where all my mind travels in these few minutes...

* * * * *

Atul has moved on to 9th standard this April 6. It is amusing to see him work hard for hours together on some days, all thanks to Kapil Sibal who has brought in radical changes in CBSE exam patterns. It is also amusing to realize that I have become a mother of a big boy all too sudden and this is definitely not comforting, for I am a person who is always young at heart. :D

Jokes apart, I got to catch up with him on so many issues, mood swings and matters of his interest every day. Today he came back from school like a storm after a long hard day, explained to me about the heavy workload that awaited him and then started narrating the story of Percy Jackson in all his innocence. He is cornering me to watch the movie first with him and then to read the book later. I am updated with the outline of the story already. He has assured me that the story revolves around Greek mythology and I can learn a lot from the book.

Well, well, gone are the days when I used to keep telling him to read this and that. Now it is his turn.

* * * * *

When I am alone, I am alone. No music, no unnecessary phone calls or chats. I do my (home)work quietly.

Apart from that, I read a lot – books, physical and online. I don’t know how my life would be without reading materials. I cannot imagine one. I wouldn’t die but would surely die out of boredom. :)

Earlier I used to write serious stuff but now only casual blogs like this.

* * * * *

Today I landed up reading a few of my old poems and articles while I was searching for something else. Honestly I was astonished by my erstwhile works – simple yet profound. How did I manage to think so?

Just then, a provoking thought peeked in to restart my venture again. Well, I am neither interested nor enough time at present.

* * * * *

During my evening walk today, I happened to watch a few sparrows tweeting and flying restlessly. I was bowled over by their sweetness. I also wondered about the taste of God in creating such a beautiful and tender creature. Will these beings ever know that I adore them so much from a distance?

How much time, energy, efforts and space would be required for man to re-create such a loveable being that could fly, walk, tweet, eat, see, hear etc with soft features & feathers?

I am happy to realise that I have not grown up as my feelings towards sparrows are just the same as in my childhood.

Once again, I marvel at God’s creation. I am moved and touched....

Beauty of Earth

Yesterday night watched ‘Samaia’ (Georgian dance), the culmination of The Spring of Culture 2010. The music was catchy, costumes bright, women dancers were elegant and of grace, men full of vigour with blinding swiftness, lighting dreamy, wonderful choreography – a feast to all the senses I can say. In total, the program was magical and spectacular.

As I walked out of the Cultural Hall, I realized one more time how beautiful this earth is with so many diverse cultures. I thanked God for giving me an opportunity to enjoy these art forms.

* * *

Tomorrow is Good Friday and this coming Sunday is Easter Sunday. My house help, ‘L’ is a (converted) Christian. Normally she does her work quietly. Yesterday I dragged her into the conversation, the crux of which is given below.

P : Are you planning to come for work on Easter Sunday?

L : Oh yes, Madamji. I will surely come. (Her face was one of quizzical look as to why this should be a reason for not to come)

P : How do you intend to celebrate Easter?

L : Nothing special, Madamji. I will go to Church on Friday. That’s all.

P : Are you still praying the way I told you?

(I had shown her the light channeling technique and the world’s urgent need to spread peace, light and love. I also narrated to her in brief that Light and her Jesus are one and the same. It was two months ago.)

L : Yes, Madamji. Everyday I am doing without fail. But I get time only at 11 or 11:30 in the night. Is it ok for God, Madamji?

I was very much touched by her innocence and commitment. I told her that there is no special time for prayer because all time is His time, upon hearing which she became happy.

I have told a lot of people about light channeling but many don’t take it seriously. I don’t blame them at all for there are many factors, which I am fully aware of.

But here’s one who is doing it diligently just because I’ve told her to do. In spite of her non-stop work the whole day, this poor lady is committed to her words with no tinge of selfishness. Very rare to see such a person.

God bless her! According to me, she is a great beauty walking on this earth.

* * *

Each one has some psychological sadness to cope with. When I look around, I feel so helpless. At the maximum, I can give a comforting hug or a few comforting words or become a patient listener which is very much needed at that time.

Behind the beauty and laughter, I see sadness and sarcasm. I sometimes wonder if there is any love at all in our hearts.

However, New Earth doesn’t wait for anyone. It is we who have to ascend with Love at the earliest to catch up with her beauty.

But when do we realise this?