O my darling! (Face 3)

Distinctly admiring you were
That I cared to keep a big black dot
On your left cheek everyday
To ward off evil eyes that fell on you
O my darling! Are you tired today?

Mischievously wonderful you were
Messing up the house as a toddler
Singing ‘Mama’ ‘Mamaaaaaa’
‘Maa…’ and ‘mmmmm…’ the whole day
O my darling! Do you want to have anything?

A great story teller you are
Your expressive blabbers on pictures and
Innovative adventures with footwear
Are captured in frames in thousands
O my darling! Will you put your head on my lap?

The cars and bats, bricks and books
Lamps and plants, crayons and paper
All have a touching incident to narrate
The intelligence of my boy wonder
O my darling! Have you slept already my dear?

There is never a dull moment
In my life since your grand arrival
For God hath blessed me to be your mother
Though I am not the best you’ve got
O my darling! Will you remember me for ever?


P.S. I am shocked to read the following news item in today’s (10/03/2008) Gulf Daily News:

A newborn baby was found abandoned in a cardboard box next to a municipality garbage bin in Hamad Town, it emerged yesterday. The boy, believed to be a few days old, was discovered near Roundabout Seven by garbage collectors in the early hours of Saturday.

Bahrain is a place where pregnancy preventive measures are available whereas abortion is not. This news is highly disturbing for me because such incidents are a rarity here. Hence incoherent thoughts cross my mind…

• How will the mother be able to lead a peaceful life after abandoning her baby? Let us not ignore the fact that she took great care in keeping the baby in a cardboard box in spite of her compelling situation.
• How did she manage to hide her pregnancy and subsequent delivery?
• Is illegal abortion far better than abandoning the illegal new born baby?
• So many couples are dying to have a baby and are ready to undergo painful processes of artificial insemination, test tubes and surrogacy (in the extreme level). But accidental conceiving and abandoning are also happening side by side. Strange is the law of life….
• Why is the baby punished for no fault of his?

Urged by the overflowing emotions, I penned down the third part of ‘O my darling’ in haste. It is a sweet talk of a mother to her adopted child.

Maha Shivratri

The image of Shiva was never a part of our altar. One probable reason could be we were Vishnu followers. It doesn’t mean that our parents worshipped only Vishnu and the many avatars. The irony was Durga, Ganesha and Muruga found their places in our home whereas neither Shiva nor Linga could. No Rudram or Chamakam were chanted at home and I had never heard them until a few years ago.

But our visits to Shiva temple were quite regular and abhishekams were conducted from time to time. In fact, my parents conducted nagar pratishta in Shiva temple only. I remember how much I liked going to the temple to enjoy the ambience of the big area covered with trees, the big Nandi, Linga, Nayanmars etc. We were advised not to carry even vibhoothi from the temple as it is said, “Shivan sothu kula naasam”. As a young girl, how fascinated I used to be seeing the small idols of nayanmars kept in the line and wondered what on earth they were kept there and why they were the only privileged ones to see Lord Shiva. Well, when I think about them, I could only chuckle.

When we visited Murudeshwar temple near Udipi last July (2007), I was stunned by the beauty, grace and poise of the tall Shiva statue. The temple is constructed in the sea and it is a wonderful sight to see those waves lashing on one side and the Shiva on the other side (see picture above).

Shiva is an embodiment of compassion and love. Whenever I see His picture, I become so humble. The whole universe is at His mercy yet His simplicity makes me realize how petty I am. So, today being Maha Shivratri, I wish to spend my time more usefully that generates positive energy in and around.

Om Namashivaya!

Moods of pain

My teary eyes and burning heart
Fired up the cool autumnal pond
Sending waves of failures of love
Pain was infectious…

Those fresh lotus petals turned together
To see the elegant lady who was charring
Their lives of beauty to ashes
Pain demanded attention…

One dared to touch my red eyes
In a bid to soothe my flaming being
And asked for reason with compassion
Pain expected sympathy…

Brought home the pink flower
To narrate my story of baseless love
That bent my will beyond imagination
Pain had tall tales…



Looking at my face on the mirror of no magic
I decided to disintegrate the radiating beauty
And merge in the blue canvas of cosmos
Pain could not be erased…

From behind the curtains of rainbow memories
His handsome face emerged effortlessly
That thrust me in the corner sobbing
Pain yearned to brood…



Like a single leaf left alone in a storm
I shivered upon those besmeared words
That boiled my brain only to end in swoon
Pain was unbearable…

Woke up with the tap of lotus
That wanted me to smile awhile
And feel the purity of love around
Pain stood aside…


P.S. This is my contribution for 'Express Yourself Contest Week 16'
Picture courtesy - reflector

The ultimatum

Ruptured window of my car
Testified the storm outside
And a glimpse of ferocity

Touching the lines of partition
My eyes noticed water lines
Dripping near my feet

Shifting my gaze to the glass
I extended my vision to the sky
In a limitless velocity

Refusing to erase or get razed
My past mocked in unison
To claim a seat of beat

Reasoning my being of presence
I realised my body in shackles
That became my goal of pain

Held up in the land of known
I raised my voice for help
To avoid the cruel death pavilion

None saw the storm raging inside
As my deeds were mistaken for
A stain in my life of vain

Piercing those solid glass pieces
My soul succumbed to the ultimatum
And flew joyfully towards the oblivion


P.S. This is my contribution for Poetry Contest Week 15
Picture courtesy - Supriya

One of the unforgettable moments – a quick look back

The day I was informed of my mother’s illness and her serious condition, I packed a small baggage of clothes and flew to Mumbai immediately. Never gave a thought how my son and husband would manage without me, given the fact the erratic work timings of my husband. At that time, I didn’t know that I would return home only after two months but victorious.

Amma developed an imbalance in oxygen and carbon-dioxide ratio in her blood, due to which she was literally kissing death every day of her stay in ICU for 22 days. My sisters did come and stay for a week or 10 days but their work schedule back in Chennai could not allow them beyond that.

Amma’s fair hands and thighs became black due to blood tests conducted twice a day. I had to cut her thick, long hair short out of compulsion (of course with her permission in a semi-conscious state) as it was becoming unmanageable to comb what with all the tubes around. Still she was grace personified.

It was my brother and I, who accompanied Amma back from the hospital in a semi-conscious condition on the evening of 22nd January, 2007. My brother had to join duty on 23rd as he had already taken leave for more than a month.

I was left all alone to manage my mother. In fact, the doctors had clearly stated that there might not be any improvement in her condition and that she may have to live in this condition for the rest of her life, given her weight and age factors.

A sudden shrill went through my spine – what if I goof up something, what if I sleep in the night when her oxygen cylinder becomes empty, what if I don’t set her bipap properly, what if she doesn’t respond to whatever I do or give, what if I don’t hear when she cries for my help……. endless sleepless nights and nightmares or it looked so…….

She responded beautifully to my hand of care. In fact, I treated her like my little child. I was thrilled to see the improvements in her everyday, which I would report to my brother promptly in the night. She was positive to my encouraging words.

I was overjoyed every time when she could grasp a spoon with shaking hands, a glass of water with spillage here and there, medicines swallowed as whole instead of powdering them, sitting on the bed then falling on the bed immediately, her first failed and faltered step, her stepping out of the bedroom with my support, her satisfied look upon sitting on the sofa of the living room, her renewed interest at the television serial, her supported walk to bathroom, her reaction to the first droplets of water that fell on her……

It was a miracle, so said the doctors. It was all possible because of

• prayers of well wishers
• mother’s positive thinking
• brother’s unconditional support
• my son’s understanding
• my husband’s kind gesture

She is now without oxygen support, walks on her own inside the house and lives a cheerful life.

God is all merciful that He wants her children to enjoy the love of at least one parent for some more time as my father died 11 years back.


P.S. This article is written only from my point of view

Guruji speaks...

* When we contemplate, we must allow a thought to lead us to the borders of the intellect. We must then pursue the Truth beyond the level of thought and grasp the Truth intuitively. If we go on analyzing, we will be stuck at the level of thought and we will not be able to understand the Truth.

* We should not confuse contemplation with endless analysis, which sometimes leads to perversion that takes us away from our goal. In contemplation there will be absolutely no agitation or disappointment because we do not seek anything.

* We must accept the human aspect of our life. We have to be human before we can be Divine. It is natural to emote, get disappointed, cry, laugh etc. but these are normally seen as weaknesses and condemned. From this level we have to rise and divinise. Once we are human, becoming Divine is very easy.

* We should not reject the so called material life. There is no such thing as a material life and a Spiritual life. Everything is Spiritual. Taking care of a child, working properly anywhere, earning money rightfully are all Spiritual acts. What is not Spiritual here? We should never neglect any part of life. Every bit of life is Spiritual.

* We must consciously expand our thoughts, emotions and our awareness and stop thinking in a narrow way. We should stop emoting only for ourselves. If we cannot place ourselves in the shoes of those suffering anywhere in the world, we cannot consider ourselves to be Spiritual. If there is nothing we can do, let there be rage against Adharma. These vibrations will have their impact.

* Try to become aware of the vastness of the ocean or the earth. After experiencing this, you cannot behave in a small way. If you have a kingdom and if someone asks for it, you will just give it away.

* Equanimity is Yoga . Any imbalance causes upheavals. An imbalance in the flow of energies in the Nadis will cause a disturbance in health. If there is imbalance in our Spiritual and material activities, we will have problems. If there is imbalance in our emoting and reasoning, there will be no peace of mind. An imbalance in our knowledge and practice will disturb our Sadhana.

* In silence there is activity. When there is silence at the level of the body, there is activity at the level of mind and intellect. When there is silence in the body and mind, there is activity in the intellect. When there is silence in all these levels, there is activity at the level of the soul. And if there is silence at the level of the soul, there is activity at the level of the Super-soul.

* We ask for things and we get them most of the times. When we do not get what we ask for, we have to wonder whether we are asking for the right thing. If in spite of repeated requests, God does not give us a particular thing, then we have to accept that not getting what we ask for is the right thing. We must remember always that God is wise and knows what is best for us. If we make Him a companion, we can understand this easily but we put Him away in photos and temples instead.

* A 'Sthita Pragna' is a person who is always smiling and not someone who does not emote and remains like a stone. We are human beings first. Let us be very happy and proud about that. We have come down to this plane just to be human beings, not gods. We were gods. We have come here to go through the human experience. Let us not be ashamed of this.

* The essence of spirituality is, not holding on to anyone or anything. We should not hold on to even pain and memories. You must allow them to just glide back to their proper places.



Excerpts from the February 2008 Newsletter

O my darling! (Face 2)

Gales are raging outside
Sand is blown all over the roads
You are resting cozily in my arms
O my darling! Will you open your eyes?

Rattles are yearning for your bash
Blabbers are what I want to hear
You are an angel of this house
O my darling! Will you wake up with a giggle?

Hold my hands tightly for a shower
Dance without rhythms and power
You are bathing in all splendour
O my darling! Will you quickly end your play?

Baby smell of your skin is a wonder
None can beat your softness dear
You are lovely and joyful ever
O my darling! Will you drink your milk fully?

I don’t count my kisses on you
I can’t live without your laughs
You are the best gift I’ve ever got
O my darling! Will you call me ‘mama’ soon?


P.S. This picture is uploaded only for an inspirational write.