In love I fly

Under the bare roof of the sky
I sit amused by the twinkling stars
Studded in the black blanket of space

I wish to cross the taverns of thoughts
And creaks of unpolished heart
With the charms of stilled love

Alas! Neither heart nor mind
Obeys my commands blissfully
As they are one of rusted insane

To glitter my life of joy and pain
A smile of longing is transfixed
Along the rapturous path of love

Indeed the gentle touches of breeze
And the grilling gazes of moon
Can no longer seduce my inner horizons
For I've decided to fly in love happily

Walls n expressions

The unseen hands behind the creation
Reverberate beyond the frame
And try to paralyse my eyelids

With every step of admiration
Along the wall of inspiration
I hear the echoes of heartbeats

Among the crowd of mountains
I could feel many clouds of fear
Stagnate along the routes of walls

My eyes may exclaim aloud
At such ostentation of power
By a mere glance at the Wall Wonder

Thankfully the trampled expressions
That beautify the walls along the routes
Are not seen by me as artefacts of marvel

August Issue

Every word of Guruji is Truth, wisdom and absolutely practical. Here are the excerpts from the August issue of the newsletter.

* When I speak in the Classes, I address all, students in all stages of Sadhana; beginners to the advanced. I do not have separate classes for each category. So, I do not expect every student to understand or accept all immediately. Some day, everyone understands, perhaps.

* While speaking, teaching and training, I come across different categories of students naturally: those who understand me now, those who would understand me later and those who cannot understand me at all. I also come across groups who are behind and decades away from even the present knowledge. It is they who are stunned by the new Knowledge. When I say, there is no Rahu kala during Ashadha, they get shocked!

* In nature there is a rhythm. On this earth there are rhythms like sunrise, sunset and the seasons. Beyond this earth there are bigger rhythms. The whole solar system moving around a galaxy, the galaxies moving around a central point ... there are bigger rhythms which we do not perceive from here. Similarly, we have to establish a rhythm in our daily life. We establish our habits like eating, sleeping etc. If we build a rhythm, we tune up to the Universal Principle. If we tune-up to one rhythm here, we will be tuning up to all the rhythms in the entire Creation. We will be tuned to the Divine. It is then we will not have any problems. When we surrender to the Divine rhythm, we will have all protection, Peace, Love and Contentment. When we follow our egos, we are not in tune with these rhythms and we will have problems.

- Excerpts from the Newsletter

What if...

A few simple lines straight from the heart…


What if I cannot run along the butterfly
I can always walk slowly to enjoy its flapping

What if I cannot see those twinkling stars
I can always wear my glasses and wink in delight

What if I cannot speak eloquently on stage
I can always hear others with patience

What if I cannot draw stunning strokes
I can always use my hands to clap in awe

What if I cannot write poems of any worth
I can always capture little moments of nothings

What if I cannot dance to tap footing beats
I can always tickle my bare feet with sand and water

What if I cannot progress in intellectual pursuits
I can always travel alone in my path bravely

What if I cannot find a corner of solitude
I can always give space for others in my life

What if I cannot control my emotional tears
I can always find the breeze waiting to embrace

What if I cannot live my life of dreams
I can always count the blessings I'm bestowed

Strange realities of life

The boy had a sparkling friendly eyes and a broad infectious smile. When I first saw his photo in Mumbai, I could not digest that such a tragedy could be possible in his life. I made it a point to see this boy during my short visit to Coimbatore.

During our onward train journey of 32 hours to Coimbatore from Mumbai, our a/c compartment had seen the vibrant atmosphere of a large extended Tamil family settled in Mumbai, mixing all tongues of Tamil, English, Hindi and Marathi. My insecurity of traveling alone with my son for such a long journey was thoroughly vanquished by their non-stop chatting and eating. My ears were filled with noises all throughout.

Upon reaching Coimbatore, I was asked to reach the mandapam immediately by my mother-in-law to attend the functions related to the upanayanam of my husband’s cousin’s son. I had to fresh up having no time to take rest and rushed immediately to the function hall. The next day was the upanayanam and I had the opportunity to meet almost all of my husband’s relatives. Most of them were pleasantly surprised to see me alone with Atul and had a nice time chit chatting and heart to heart talks with some of them. My mouth and ears had a wonderful time throughout.

There was only one day left for me before leaving for Mumbai and I needed to cover visits to a few houses, a Hanuman temple and shopping with my sister-in-law. The first half of the day had been utilized for the temple visit and shopping and reached home at around 2:30 p.m. with a headache. I felt very tired to even think of the pending visits. But I don’t wish to go back on my words any day and again started off with Atul and Father-in-law. I was appreciating myself of my positive approach to pains.

When I called this boy’s mother about my visit, she requested me to come to her house after 6 p.m. as she has to bring him back from school. Well, I planned my trips accordingly, visited my friends’ families, accepted their loving hospitality, requested them for a Saridon to treat my unbearable headache and at the end entered into his house. The boy’s father is our distant relative though I remember only his parents as they used to visit us on January 1st of every year when we were in Karur. My headache was gone by the time I saw him; so also my head weight.

Let us call this 10-year old boy wonder as ‘H’. When I first saw him, I used my hand gestures to ask, “Eppadi irukka? (How are you?)” His mother immediately told me not to use any. H looked at my lips and replied, “Nalla irukken” in an unclear tone. During our conversation, I came to know that

* he could not speak because he is deaf;
* he is not supposed to communicate with sign languages as it spoils his speaking ability;
* he has to see the lip movements and reply in words;
* he is taught only one language i.e. Tamil as that is the local language and all his subjects are in Tamil only;
* even mother tongue is not taught or spoken to him;
* it is extremely difficult to teach different languages as the child may get confused;
* each and every word has to be taught repeatedly and patiently till he understands;
* whenever he commits mistakes in pronunciation (as he cannot hear the different syllables), it takes a lot of pain and effort on the mother’s side to correct him;
* it is difficult to handle him during discussions of the family matters as he wants to know each and everything;
* his syllabus comprising of Maths, Science, History & Geography is tough for his age;
* he is interested in drawing and painting and produces beautiful sketches whereas his handwriting is not good;

and so on…

I could see the understanding of his elder brother, the sacrifice, patience and love of his mother and the care of his father. I could not control my tears when I saw the beautiful smiles of the mother and the son. Atul was deeply touched by this meeting and became humble. When I asked H before leaving if he would come to Bahrain (“Bahrain varriya?”), immediately he said, “Varrein.” His father explained to him that he has to take a flight for which he said, “Enakku theriyum.” Aha! Mixture of so much innocence and knowledge emanating from his noiseless world!

Many times H could not understand my lip movements and his mother had to explain slowly in a different way. The smile on his lips never faded even for a moment. I don’t know if he understands the limitations of his life or if visits of people make him feel inferior. I can only console myself that I was extended invitations by them many times which I had honoured without fail.

The life of H is one of silence and he is taught how to make sounds diligently. It is an ongoing struggle for the boy, parents and school. Here I am in the world of sounds all the time, either at the giving or receiving end. And I wish to run towards silence even at the slightest given opportunity.

I had to handle my vow of silence with sign language and my son’s help to receive the courier yesterday (August 21, 2008). Probably, the courier personnel might have thought that I have speaking disability.

Strange are the differing perceptions, limitations, realities and goals of life!

Festivals galore

During my childhood, why childhood, even up to a few years back, I was neither philosophical nor religious.

I had always wondered at my mother’s strict adherence of religious sentiments and my father’s quiet adherence of philosophical principles. But I didn’t bother much to learn from them.

Festivals are such special occasions that (it is said) each one has a significant meaning of its own, both at religious and philosophical levels. How many times my mother would’ve told the story during Vatasavatri pooja or Anantavrata! How many times she would’ve asked us to leave arkhyam during Gokulashtami! None of the details I could remember even now. Because, at that time my only concern was the pinching hunger and the corresponding grand array of mouth watering delicacies.

Even after marriage, I refused to grow religiously or philosophically as my parents always treated me like a kid and firmly believed that I knew nothing (my mother still thinks so). When my son started growing up, I realized rudely that I too need to grow up a little. In a haphazard way, I started collecting details of the festivals with the only intention of passing on the legacy of family customs. I doubt if I would be successful but at least I’ve managed to celebrate them of late.

Memories of childhood are invariably intertwined with festivals whether we understand them or not. And I don’t want to deprive my son of its charms.

Coming to the topic, there is a beeline of festivals to celebrate…

August 15 – Varalakshmi Pooja
August 16 - Shravani (Aavani Avittam)
August 17 - Gayatri Japam
August 23 - Janmashtami
September 3 – Ganesh Chaturthi
September 14 - Anantavratam
September 30 onwards Navaratri starts…
.
.
.
.

I think the cycle of festivals shall keep me motivated to celebrate at least till my son completes his schooling and leaves me for higher education.

A few overflowing words from the brain

The 40 day trip to India (28th June to 8th Aug) was a truly memorable one. Some of the crisscrossed thoughts…

1) I could not imagine any water shortage in Mumbai. Monsoons are a must for this highly populated city. There seems to be some slackness in nature these days. No, it cannot be. It is because of man’s abuse towards nature’s wealth.

2) Mother says that I know nothing and that I don’t know how to handle myself. She is absolutely right. But am I not too old to learn at this age?

3) On the flip side, a couple of my friends think that I have an attitude problem arising out of intellectual puffiness. They too may be right. I have become more cautious of my conversational skills these days though I don’t find any intellectual acumen in me.

4) To keep a watch on my words and thoughts at least for a limited time in a week, I have decided to resume my silence on Thursdays till 1 p.m. Need to isolate myself from TV, computer, phone calls, reading, writing etc and avoid meeting people if possible during this period. But what will I do during this time?

5) Meet with my Uncle was one of the best things that had happened during this vacation. I become emotional when I think of my Shirdi trip. My Uncle has gifted me with the Satcharita (complete version) which has already become a part of my daily reading.

6) I realized that I am rebellious and submissive at wrong times. Am I hopeless to rectify?

7) When the middle aged female companion during my return train journey from Coimbatore to Mumbai told me that she took care of her paralytic mother-in-law for 15 years (as passing information and not with the intention of boasting of her service), I was awed. Greatness is more found in people of less education than the wizards. After all, no education can be greater than kindness and pure attitude of service. She had not crossed even 10th standard and got married at the age of 16 years.

8) Rajasthan tour was highly refreshing. Palaces and forts of Jaipur, Udaipur and Jodhpur – they are true architectural marvels. Employees of these palaces were a sight to see as their uniforms were traditional costumes. Some of the points that I wish to share…

• The man who took us for an elephant ride at Amber Fort had a story to say that his son was brutally killed a few years back by some vandals. He was only of Atul’s age at that time it seems. And he is managing his two kids now as his wife too has died. He had refused all offers of remarriage considering his children’s welfare.
• When we got bored of the hep restaurants, we barged into the roadside dhabas and ate our food with flies around. The food was delicious though our palate longed for home food like idli, dosa, sambar, rasam etc. It is difficult to eat rotis and highly spiced sabjis for three times a day. I realized that I too have lots of preferences. 
• Pushkar lake seemed pure and holy. Couples of all nationalities can offer their prayers and sankalp for the deceased family members here. It was a sight to see foreigners chanting Sanskrit slokas diligently. But one has to be very cautious with these pandits as they have the knack of extracting money in the name of charity. The only Brahma temple of the world is in Pushkar and I was slightly disappointed with the hygiene over there. But the hotel where we were accommodated was absolutely fantastic.
• Udaipur’s man-made Fateh Sagar lake is built with the outline of India map, as was told by the guide. We took a boat ride, went to the Jawaharlal Nehru Park, took a few snaps with the local costume. Enjoyed from a distance the glitter of the aristocratic Jagdish temple and the luxurious Lake Palace, both situated in the waters. However, The City Palace is huge and the collections are massive. I could not stop marveling the lifestyle of the Rajput Kings & Queens.
• Mount Abu has nothing new to offer except quietude. It is famous because it is the only hill resort of Rajasthan.
• At Jodhpur, a passer-by was kind enough not only to give directions how to go to RTDC but also identified our car when we were roaming in the streets blindly while he was returning home and took us there personally. What a hospitality the people of Rajasthan had exhibited throughout consistently!
• Jodhpur Fort is something that I may not forget for a long time. It is raw, huge, real & tough bringing the battles in front of my eyes.
• It is sad that we could not cover Jaisalmer and Bikaner.
• My belief that Rajasthan is full of desert is shattered when I saw the breathtaking mountains and drizzling rains. A beautiful place with rich cultural heritage and major tourist attraction it is, the state has to improve a lot as one can see the difference between rich and poor clearly.

9) On our return to Delhi from Jaipur, I managed to pick-up the much sought after book ‘The Holy Science’ in a motel art gallery. It is a miracle according to me as I lost all hopes of getting the same this time also, before leaving for Bahrain.

Overall, my India trip was good, nourishing, enriching and educative.

Now all that requires is a transformation to become a refined, diplomatic self and a growing spiritual personality.