After writing the article ‘Baby smile’ late last night, I went to sleep very late as the left over thoughts were rummaging my being for sometime. Today morning, I was woken up at 4:45 a.m. by Atul with a sweet kiss on my cheek and a baby smile, as he wanted me to help him with his Hindi portions for today’s exams.
Thus a long day awaits me today being a weekend. Reclining my plastered right leg on the tower of pillows most of the times, my movements are restricted. Obviously, the bed is strewn with pillows, blanket, books, mobile, phone, laptop and of course me on the edge.
Atul has been very kind to me during this time of trial - ‘Do you want this?’, ‘Don’t walk too much…’, ‘I shall bring water for you.’ ‘Please be careful..’ etc etc. He sets the table, clears it after eating, washes utensils too if need be and helps himself from the kitchen when hungry. But he also proves to be a child.
Even on the crowded bed, Atul fights for his share of pillows and blanket. In fact, he wants to use only those I am using. He wants to sleep with me at night and doesn’t want to understand that his one hard kick would jeopardize my leg. He gets thousands of doubts which need to be cleared with his friends urgently only when I am on phone. He is bored and wants to play games on the laptop only when I am seriously reading or writing something. He trails me wherever I go and sits in front of me.
Every time every day there is a big war of words between us but they are all momentary and meaningless. I know that he cannot take my silence, for he cries like a baby if I declare so. He is full of life unlike me. With cricket on TV on one side, ‘Jai Ho’ (at present) on laptop on the other side, hand swishing the cricket bat or tennis racket, speaking phone every now and then, he claims that he is studying studiously for annual exams. Sometimes, he uses ‘Sing Star’ for relaxation and sings those evergreen songs merrily.
He is bored of seeing the spiritual books around me and pressurizes me to read Harry Potter. He is successful though in thrusting me in this aspect. He wants to go to a school like Hogwarts during summer holidays, swish his magic wand and learn those simple tricks. His eyes glitter with excitement when he talks about the world of magic.
Well, he is a part of ‘awesome threesome’ who have conceived and written a book called FINDERS’ FOUR. A blog on this is long pending from me which I’ll do once they publish the book. In fact, even in this period of exams, he and his friend, Adi find time to think of writing and tuning a song all on their own in Adi’s guitar.
There are more to write, of course. He is making my life’s moments bright, beautiful and wonderful. In a subtler way, he makes me realise that God has been very kind to me. I do not wish to own him or possess him. I do not wish to thrust my opinions or dreams on him.
I always remember Kahlil Gibran’s words…
Your children are not your children
They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself
They come through you but not from you
I want him to dream on his own and enjoy his life as he wants to be. But I would be glad if he makes a positive difference in at least one life in his lifetime and be a contributor in a small way to the society that he is indebted to and the world he is kindly absorbed into.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Baby smile
Every mother would surely agree upon one thing without fail that the period of pregnancy gives maximum joy and tension in their lives. It is a wonderful feeling to carry a baby in the stomach, for the mother feels doubly responsible for the two lives. The subtle bondage that she develops with the baby cannot be explained in words. However, it is also a period of unrest and tension, for there will be a thought at the backdrop that the baby should be devoid of deformities, both physical and mental.
It’s a sight to see the baby immediately after his/her birth - so beautiful, angelic, pure, and softer than a flower. The big responsibility of raising the baby is well hidden under the bewitching smile, small hands, cute little eyes, soft skin etc.
As far as I am concerned, the best part in a human life is the period of babyhood. Whatever be the baby’s caste, creed, colour, religion, nationality, status etc (can't help saying so as some of these things are recorded in the birth card), one can see the beauty, innocence, trust, faith, grace and love in full measure in each of their looks, moves, smiles and touches. I could never resist the temptation of carrying the tender baby in my arms wherever I am. Even in travelling trains, I would have almost always hugged a baby at least for a second. So too most of the people, I believe.
I remember one small incident that happened in Chennai. It was one of those July vacation days and the place was my in-laws’ house. The maid servant had lots of vessels to clean but she had brought her baby to work. While cleaning, she kept her baby on her lap and started doing her work. I chanced to see her and was moved to see the plight of the young lady. In spite of her shyness and refusal (because of respect for me) and my MIL’s shocking face, I took the baby in hand, came to the front side of the house and started walking up and down. Initially the baby made a fuss about the change of warmth that he felt but slowly settled down in my arms. My MIL came running behind me and requested me to give the baby to her too. Well, we were chatting and entertaining the baby as a team effort. When I gave the baby back to the mother saying, ‘You are really fortunate. Your son is very beautiful and adjusting,’ I saw a mixture of gratitude and pride on her face with a broad innocent smile. Ha.. I felt that the mother too had become a baby at that moment.
The outside knowledge that we accrue so vehemently gives intelligence in abundance but erases innocence in the bargain. There is attraction and appreciation for accumulated intelligence everywhere whereas the inborn innocence is left in the bin deep inside to shine among garbage. There is a judgment passed by every speck of displayed intelligence whereas innocence could understand and express only love, affection and care.
Why do we fail to realise that the manipulating intelligence destroys our peace most of the times?
Why not we give a genuine, warm smile straight from the heart just like the baby does?
Is it not that the Higher Intelligence and Innocence one and the same?
Why do we allow dirt and dust to accumulate in our baby smiles as we grow along with intelligence?
It’s a sight to see the baby immediately after his/her birth - so beautiful, angelic, pure, and softer than a flower. The big responsibility of raising the baby is well hidden under the bewitching smile, small hands, cute little eyes, soft skin etc.
As far as I am concerned, the best part in a human life is the period of babyhood. Whatever be the baby’s caste, creed, colour, religion, nationality, status etc (can't help saying so as some of these things are recorded in the birth card), one can see the beauty, innocence, trust, faith, grace and love in full measure in each of their looks, moves, smiles and touches. I could never resist the temptation of carrying the tender baby in my arms wherever I am. Even in travelling trains, I would have almost always hugged a baby at least for a second. So too most of the people, I believe.
I remember one small incident that happened in Chennai. It was one of those July vacation days and the place was my in-laws’ house. The maid servant had lots of vessels to clean but she had brought her baby to work. While cleaning, she kept her baby on her lap and started doing her work. I chanced to see her and was moved to see the plight of the young lady. In spite of her shyness and refusal (because of respect for me) and my MIL’s shocking face, I took the baby in hand, came to the front side of the house and started walking up and down. Initially the baby made a fuss about the change of warmth that he felt but slowly settled down in my arms. My MIL came running behind me and requested me to give the baby to her too. Well, we were chatting and entertaining the baby as a team effort. When I gave the baby back to the mother saying, ‘You are really fortunate. Your son is very beautiful and adjusting,’ I saw a mixture of gratitude and pride on her face with a broad innocent smile. Ha.. I felt that the mother too had become a baby at that moment.
The outside knowledge that we accrue so vehemently gives intelligence in abundance but erases innocence in the bargain. There is attraction and appreciation for accumulated intelligence everywhere whereas the inborn innocence is left in the bin deep inside to shine among garbage. There is a judgment passed by every speck of displayed intelligence whereas innocence could understand and express only love, affection and care.
Why do we fail to realise that the manipulating intelligence destroys our peace most of the times?
Why not we give a genuine, warm smile straight from the heart just like the baby does?
Is it not that the Higher Intelligence and Innocence one and the same?
Why do we allow dirt and dust to accumulate in our baby smiles as we grow along with intelligence?
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Casted in a different mould
Of late, I am reminded of one particular scene from ‘Peaceful Warrior’ wherein the permanently crippled hero watches people carelessly walking up and down the steps with a yearning look. I never knew even a week back that I could live those moments though temporary it maybe.
When my present situation allows me to view the world only through the bedroom window, my youthful heart bubbles up to
• go out aimlessly
• jump high to touch the sky
• make a few sways to the catchy tunes
• splash the sea water on others and feel the wetness on the feet
• run wild like a child to watch those dreamy sunrise or sunset
• laugh along with the first rain droplets…
etc
But this phase of compulsory rest has also made me realize that the world around me is always beautiful, full of people of love, affection and care.
The one person who deserves my maximum gratitude is Balaji who ensures that I eat properly, sleep comfortably, walk those few steps carefully and takes care of Atul too well. I’ve seen my usually carefree son worrying on the day of plaster cast about my health for the first time and since then he is expressing his affection every now and then in his own way. Needless to mention, the calls from India are soaked with helplessness and a lot of affection.
What can I talk of those steady streams of friends who have been visiting me everyday, enquiring about my health through phone, sms and chat, supplying our family with scrumptious lunch or dinner and extend their prayers for my quick recovery. Two of them did healing too - one did Reiki and the other Art of Living.
There is pain in every step I keep. My OA left knee is giving extraordinary pain for the past two days. Sitting up and down seems a nightmare every time. My fractured leg got cramps today that surprised me off my balance. However, these are the limitations of my body which is ever ready to dampen my spirits.
This fall is not a fall actually. It may be working of my past karmas; or just an experience of the goodness surrounding me; or a test of Providence on my patience and perseverance; or the shower of Grace to make me realise that nothing and nobody is permanent in this world; or a simple lesson that pains shape up the individual much faster than anything else. The reasons may be one of these or all or something entirely different.
If you go by statistics, my fracture may not even stand in the first decimal place. But it is an important experience for me and hence wanted to record my present state and feelings as a blog so that I can review myself at a later date.
I am of strong belief that nothing happens by accident in the cosmos. As a part of this grand cosmos, the spirit in me says that nothing should steal my smile and cheer. Yes, nothing can erase my spirit really.
When my present situation allows me to view the world only through the bedroom window, my youthful heart bubbles up to
• go out aimlessly
• jump high to touch the sky
• make a few sways to the catchy tunes
• splash the sea water on others and feel the wetness on the feet
• run wild like a child to watch those dreamy sunrise or sunset
• laugh along with the first rain droplets…
etc
But this phase of compulsory rest has also made me realize that the world around me is always beautiful, full of people of love, affection and care.
The one person who deserves my maximum gratitude is Balaji who ensures that I eat properly, sleep comfortably, walk those few steps carefully and takes care of Atul too well. I’ve seen my usually carefree son worrying on the day of plaster cast about my health for the first time and since then he is expressing his affection every now and then in his own way. Needless to mention, the calls from India are soaked with helplessness and a lot of affection.
What can I talk of those steady streams of friends who have been visiting me everyday, enquiring about my health through phone, sms and chat, supplying our family with scrumptious lunch or dinner and extend their prayers for my quick recovery. Two of them did healing too - one did Reiki and the other Art of Living.
There is pain in every step I keep. My OA left knee is giving extraordinary pain for the past two days. Sitting up and down seems a nightmare every time. My fractured leg got cramps today that surprised me off my balance. However, these are the limitations of my body which is ever ready to dampen my spirits.
This fall is not a fall actually. It may be working of my past karmas; or just an experience of the goodness surrounding me; or a test of Providence on my patience and perseverance; or the shower of Grace to make me realise that nothing and nobody is permanent in this world; or a simple lesson that pains shape up the individual much faster than anything else. The reasons may be one of these or all or something entirely different.
If you go by statistics, my fracture may not even stand in the first decimal place. But it is an important experience for me and hence wanted to record my present state and feelings as a blog so that I can review myself at a later date.
I am of strong belief that nothing happens by accident in the cosmos. As a part of this grand cosmos, the spirit in me says that nothing should steal my smile and cheer. Yes, nothing can erase my spirit really.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)