Of late, I am reminded of one particular scene from ‘Peaceful Warrior’ wherein the permanently crippled hero watches people carelessly walking up and down the steps with a yearning look. I never knew even a week back that I could live those moments though temporary it maybe.
When my present situation allows me to view the world only through the bedroom window, my youthful heart bubbles up to
• go out aimlessly
• jump high to touch the sky
• make a few sways to the catchy tunes
• splash the sea water on others and feel the wetness on the feet
• run wild like a child to watch those dreamy sunrise or sunset
• laugh along with the first rain droplets…
etc
But this phase of compulsory rest has also made me realize that the world around me is always beautiful, full of people of love, affection and care.
The one person who deserves my maximum gratitude is Balaji who ensures that I eat properly, sleep comfortably, walk those few steps carefully and takes care of Atul too well. I’ve seen my usually carefree son worrying on the day of plaster cast about my health for the first time and since then he is expressing his affection every now and then in his own way. Needless to mention, the calls from India are soaked with helplessness and a lot of affection.
What can I talk of those steady streams of friends who have been visiting me everyday, enquiring about my health through phone, sms and chat, supplying our family with scrumptious lunch or dinner and extend their prayers for my quick recovery. Two of them did healing too - one did Reiki and the other Art of Living.
There is pain in every step I keep. My OA left knee is giving extraordinary pain for the past two days. Sitting up and down seems a nightmare every time. My fractured leg got cramps today that surprised me off my balance. However, these are the limitations of my body which is ever ready to dampen my spirits.
This fall is not a fall actually. It may be working of my past karmas; or just an experience of the goodness surrounding me; or a test of Providence on my patience and perseverance; or the shower of Grace to make me realise that nothing and nobody is permanent in this world; or a simple lesson that pains shape up the individual much faster than anything else. The reasons may be one of these or all or something entirely different.
If you go by statistics, my fracture may not even stand in the first decimal place. But it is an important experience for me and hence wanted to record my present state and feelings as a blog so that I can review myself at a later date.
I am of strong belief that nothing happens by accident in the cosmos. As a part of this grand cosmos, the spirit in me says that nothing should steal my smile and cheer. Yes, nothing can erase my spirit really.
10 comments:
:)
How optimistic! :)
I remember how excited I was when I hurt my ankle because it meant I could officially stay away from work.. :D Coming out of the plaster cast was like being reborn.. :) It was a totally different experience.. :)
I am really happy for you to be surrounded by well-wishers.. :) Like you say - it's Karma.. You are such a sweetheart, how can you not have friends in time of need? :)
Love,
Anitha
Dear Padmaja
A wonderful blog which would give you a totally different perception when read months after you are out from this temporary disability. As Anitha rightly said, you are indeed a sweetheart who have shown unconditional love to all around you. Why this amazement when people help you with love? You deserve them Padmaja!
These lines should bear a silver lining - "This fall is not a fall actually. It may be working of my past karmas; or just an experience of the goodness surrounding me; or a test of Providence on my patience and perseverance; or the shower of Grace to make me realise that nothing and nobody is permanent in this world; or a simple lesson that pains shape up the individual much faster than anything else. The reasons may be one of these or all or something entirely different."
Dear Anitha,
I am wondering at the character of Karna wherein he is supposed to wear permanent kavacha and kundala. How could he have borne this heavyweight throughout his life!
I am extremely happy to see your sweet comments. Thanks a lot dear.
With love,
Padmaja
Dear Latha,
I don't want to analyse the reasons for my fall. Those lines were realisations. I am more happy to keenly hear the pigeon's cries, the change of colours in the sky etc.
Yes, it is a temporary disability. But it is only in my hands not to make it permanent. Thanks a lot dear.
With love,
Padmaja
Tee hee :) That's a nice line of thought. :D Seems like he had to rid himself of the burden (though it was a boon) to attain Mukti.. :D (Or is it Moksha? I don't know!)
Love,
Anitha
Precisely, Anitha. He was granted mukti the moment he was ready to throw away this sort of heavyweight protection. :))
Itching has started for the past two days and it's again a helpless situation. I've started counting days like a small kid for 20th March. :D Oops... just one small trip has given a huge revelation how brittle & delicate the body is.
Dear Padmaja
Maybe you are not interested in analysing the reason for your fall now but I appreciated those words because a small fall has made your thoughts go much farther which in the normal course, we wouldn't care much to think about.
Yes, to sit and gently watch the seasons change and adore at the beauty of nature willingly is a fortune that not everybody will be blessed with. Enjoy your time and take rest.
Dear Latha,
I am always a nature lover. Now it is thrust on me. That's the difference.
Whatever be the reason for my present state of pain and house arrest, I came to know of the beautiful people, both known for years and days. I am really overwhelmed.
Love
Padmaja
It is so sad that you injured. I knew how the pains.
Get well soon.
Thank you for your wishes, Elanchezhiyan.
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