I see you

There is one movie that I do not mind watching again in theatres is ‘Avatar’, of course with 3D effect.

The tall, blue Na’vi people appear so beautiful and holy to my eyes though they are computer animated gimmicks. The way Neytiri teaches Jake Sully the nuances of archery, the secret of riding on a direhorse, how to own a banshee is outstanding. It is astonishing to see how faithfully Na’vis worship Eywa and how much they respect each life living on their Pandora land.

The body language, character depictions, spiritual truths, grand film making – all contribute for the success of the movie though the storyline is quite old. In the middle of the film, I was wondering how the director is going to resolve the conflict in the character of Jake Sully but the much anticipated ‘end’ made me smile. In fact, the director convinces the audience to take the side of Na’vi clan instead of humans.

As far as I remember, here is one rare film where the lovers do not say ‘I love you’ to each other; instead they say ‘I see you.’

Run….. run to the theatres and watch the power of human & Na’vi minds. James Cameron has weaved an unbelievable magic to the mind and spirit.

* * * * * * *

When we, the English language learning students, were informed to read the story ‘Lamb to the slaughter’ as a part of study, I thought, ‘What could be so amazing with this short story which is termed as classic?’ I realized after reading that the story is indeed amazing.

I have to stress once again that the human minds have unbelievable layers of subtleness and power.

* * * * * * *

My neighbour has left her dying tulasi plant under my care for a month as she is gone on vacation. The plant was already de-rooted from its soil at the time of handing over and tulasi plants are said to be sensitive. The moment I brought the pot to my balcony, I pleaded with the plant (mentally) with love not to die as I would be responsible for its well being till I give it back to its owner. Thankfully, the plant is growing well now.

I am extremely glad to have been given one another opportunity to realise that there is something called ‘grace’ which is beyond mind power.

* * * * * * *

I see clearly that the plant's rebirth is equally grand and miraculous just as James Cameron's successful celluloid Avatar.

Prince Charming and my English

The homework given in the English class on Saturday is simply superb. Though I could not attend that day, I was rejoicing at the very mention of fairytales and the assignment. Here is what the homework is...

The 5 children of the class have to rewrite the story of Cinderella from the stepmother's point of view and the 5 adults from the Prince's point of view. As for our (adults) assignment, the rewriting is split into 5 parts - introduction, announcement of the ball, arrangements, the ball and conclusion. I am given the part of 'conclusion'.

So, here goes my part which I would read out in today's class... You too read my imagination and enjoy. :)))

//
The Prince stood transfixed. He was unable to believe that his princess could slip away from his hands so easily, in exactly the same moment he was about to propose to her in a dramatic way. How long and hard he had planned for the moment! Even in this state of utter dejection, he appeared so charming, true to his name.

He could not sleep the whole night. He remembered the guards muttering feebly at the palace entrance that she appeared like a country girl as she fled. To add fuel to his restlessness, no one in the ball could guess who she was and where she came from. Indeed he was engulfed totally in the flame of love. Not a moment of cinders left for him.

Tossing and turning, he recited within the whole night, ‘O my sweetheart! Beauty I have seen in plenty but your magnetic grace I have not. Rich or poor I don’t care but you would hear my heart beat when you are near… Know that you are the only lady love of my life. I know… I know that this slipper is a smart clue that you have given me to reach your doorstep. I shall not rest till I find you dear. Here I come, here I come…’

The next morning, the tired Prince Charming ordered his guards to be ready to accompany him. He also made an announcement that whoever fitted into the slipper perfectly would become his princess of life. Alas! As days passed, none could fit in perfectly much to his disappointment. However, he was a man of determination & will and hence he was not to lose heart so soon.

At last, his chariot arrived at Cinderalla’s villa. His heart started beating very fast unusually. He felt that he was surrounded by a mysterious feeling as if somebody was whispering into his ears ‘I am here, I am here…’. He climbed down his chariot with glee and entered into the villa with the slipper in hand.

The beautifully dressed up stepsisters ran forward in greediness to own him but the slipper was not kind though. And the Prince Charming was not distracted by any. He asked them again and again if there were any other in the villa as his heart could not go wrong.

There he saw a young graceful girl walking in rags to try out the slipper. Much to the astonishment of all, her left foot fitted into the glass slipper perfectly as her hands produced the missing pair from inside her gown.

As she looked at him with love, he recognised in that poor girl the same beautiful woman who had stolen his heart on the day of ball. He realized then that he had become complete with her.

Holding her elegant hand, he led her to his palace. The Prince Charming and Princess Cindarella lived happily ever after.



Swaying to the lilting music of life
They danced round and round with love
Even when they became very old
He in her hands and she into his
Locked for ever in body & spirit
Never to part even in dreams

Standing from the state of heavenly bliss
They peep into the presently world
Descending from the realm above
To teach us of love and joy eternal
Here they come, here they come
Hand in hand here they come

//

Thanks a lot, Rekha for bringing out the child in me. :)

The Power of Love

The three grew up together but one could not live with the other two for long. The (un)fortunate one was none other than Christian, the Lion. I was stunned to watch the last few minutes of the great documentary aired in Animal Planet a couple of days back.

This has happened 40 years ago. The grown-up domesticated animal (Christian) from London is introduced into Kenyan jungle slowly and steadily as it becomes difficult for the two youngsters to rear the lion at home. After many failures, the lion adapts itself to the new surrounding and builds its pride.

After one year of leaving Christian with the trainer, the two men travel to Africa to see their darling pet.

Upon hearing their call, the lion which is living with two lioness and an adopted cub, slowly turns, looks at the two buddies, takes slow paces and then suddenly pounces on them with its front legs against their shoulders and showers its love. It was an unforgettable and beautiful sight.

It was all the more beautiful to see those two men who have become old now reminisce those beautiful moments.

I was deeply touched by such power of Love.

That reminded me of the power of unconditional love that I have experienced. In fact, the whole of this year has been one of blessing. When I recollect all those memories, I go down on my knees to only thank God.

Not only that, in this year, I also saw a few strengthening their existing ties with me, a few moving away from me deliberately and a few coming closer voluntarily. Calmly, peacefully and silently, I have learnt to witness the changes within and around.

I always see the world outside as beautiful. And I strive hard to keep my inner world one of purity and striking beauty with Love.

There’s nothing else to ask for, for my life. I feel that there’s nothing else in my life.

Heed not to the Head

The fear of being attacked by migraine is constantly chasing me as I am too much affected by the pain these days. Once hit, I become completely paralysed in the first 2-3 hours in a dark room. I am avoiding all situations that could trigger a headache like sun, sound, sleeplessness, hunger etc but alas, I could not run away from life and people, isn’t it? If I close the front door, it enters through the back door and embraces me. Last month, I had decided to fight it out only with Light. Thankfully I am not tempted to take medicines so far; instead wait patiently for the Light to work on me.

Though the love affair with migraine is going on for years, I still wanted to watch ‘2012’ as I have been receiving and reading mixed reviews about the film. Somehow it is eluding my hands. What I have noticed is that, people either panic which is not needed or brush it aside as a hoax. The world will not end but there is no place for the misfits and unfits any more, which includes you and me if we fall under that category.

Who are misfits and unfits then?

Whoever brings negativities into our system and spreads callous attitude becomes a natural misfit or unfit to live in this world.

Watch out for the grip that the negativities have over you. It may sprout as physical, mental, emotional and psychological disturbances or illnesses. And mind you, the negativities may arise within to damage your understanding or from outside sources to confuse your standing. At such times, I am forcibly emphasising these words to myself - ‘O Negativities! I have NO time to entertain you. And I am not sorry for that.’

When I heard of the brutal murder that had happened recently in one of our friend’s families because of money issues, I was really shocked. Money, women and land have been the greatest enemies in human lives from time immemorial, so they say.

The biography of one of the most powerful women the world had witnessed, Cleopatra, too confirms this belief. Though she had Julius Caesar & Marc Antony in/at her command at one time, the motive behind such liaisons must have been to retain her Pharaoh-hood. Power struggle is like a vicious cycle and the main negative energy being supplied is ‘selfishness’. Naturally all these three had to face terrible deaths.

How long can Mother Earth tolerate biographies of sloth & selfishness? She badly needs a change. Before she shakes us all in one go and takes up the task on her own, let us all give her the much needed change by spreading Light, love and peace, not just today or tomorrow but on a moment-to-moment basis to repair the damages done to her over thousands of years. Let us learn to own the responsibility of the collective damage done to her representing the collective humanity.

A few imaginative pictures hover around me for the past one month to write a poem on Mother Earth. I am trying to move away from such thoughts as I do not wish to trigger any kind of intellectual pleasure. And I do not wish to burden my head more as I have no intention of facing another big bang inside.

However, if I succumb to the pressure any time from now, then it would go into ‘Divine Vibrations’. Be assured that the intent would vibrate only with purity.

Right now, as my head throbs slightly and compels me to close this article soon, I wish to conclude with my only personal wish – to remain in harmony with Light at all levels of consciousness.

A few updates

This August, we bought a bigger TV as the old TV had its fair share of duty with us. The old TV is not disposed yet.

Three days back, my house help hesitatingly asked me, “Madamji, will you give me your old TV?”

I was busy cooking lunch at that time and instantly turned around to see her.

She continued, “Money no problem, Madamji! I will give you.”

I felt so touched. Yet I asked her, “How much do you think you can give?”

“I will give BD 20/-, Madamji!”

I told Balaji about her need, he agreed to give it for free. When I told her that she need not pay anything, she was happy that we consented for the TV but she said again in her broken English, “No, Madamji! Taking free anything, no good….” She repeated two more times with her big trademark smile.

I was awed. I listened.

“My husband will come and take it on 27th and will pay the money, Madamji.”

She appeared great in my eyes. In this world, we are so used to seeing people who grab every opportunity and use their tactics if they can get anything for free – even food.

This young girl has a list of problems to narrate, ranging from personal to money problems. Yet she doesn’t want anything for free.

Many appear educated in the society. In reality, only a rare few are educated. She is one.

* * * * * * *

“I am going out for lunch with kids. Are you coming with me?”

The familiar voice on my mobile surprised me. And it was a genuine invitation. Yes, it was a call from my dear friend from Abu Dhabi who gave surprise visit to us this Diwali after hearing of my illness. In fact, I was lazily roaming inside the kitchen at that time. I was elated, for it is the thought of concern that matters the most.

I am really fortunate to have such a great friend.

* * * * * * *

We three were having dinner together yesterday night. Balaji was telling me that our CBE house would become costlier to maintain as the committee has decided to strengthen the security of the Gardens but at a heavy cost.

In the midst of conversation, I told Balaji, “See…. I wanted to tell you something.’

“What?”

“I am not comfortable with the decision of putting electrical fencing.”

He was blinking…. “Where?”

“Around the compound.”

“Why?”

“Whatever it is, electricity of even minimum voltage would give shock to people.”

“Which people?”

“Whoever crosses the compound?”

“You mean thief?”

“Yes.”

Both father and son burst into laughter that I am too concerned about the thieves.

I am concerned about all those hundreds of residents and tenants no doubt. But my feeling was also genuine.

Pray no thief tresspass the compound.

* * * * * * *

Number Two Hundred

Today evening Balaji took me to Sri Krishna Temple at Manama by surprise. He dropped me at the entrance and asked me to go & see as he could not find a parking lot. In fact, I rarely visit temples these days. I am not deliberately avoiding but just that I have no urge to go.

I was really taken aback upon seeing the huge Govardhan giri occupying majority of the open area against the big Krishna mural. The temple being managed and run by Gujarati community is well known for grand, colourful and vibrant decorations especially on special occasions. I inferred from the banner hung over there that there was some rath yatra yesterday.

My admiration and respect to all those behind this beautiful expression of devotion and sweet feat of creativity.

Jai Shree Krishna!

* * * * *

Talking of devotion, I would stand in awe in temples sometimes looking at others' explicit devotion than making effort of my own. I still wonder why I have never been inclined or inspired to learn or chant slokas/mantras. Could it be my birth defect? :)

Yet, I pray. Don't ask me what and how as my jabber cannot be heard by anyone except God. :)

* * * * *

I cannot believe that I have completed 200 posts - each one written with genuine emotions felt at the time of writing. The crowning glory is the one written 3.5 years back which is very, very dear to my heart.

I dedicate my scribbles to that one man who stole my heart in one swish and continue to do so even now. I wish to be connected / acquainted with him in every birth of mine. I fear not for my innumerable births but I fear that I should not lose sight of him in any of my births. If you know me, you would instantly know whom I am talking about. Otherwise, go here to know who he is....

http://padmaja-whispers.blogspot.com/2009/01/fond-feeling.html

I remember scribbling these few words on July 4, 2006 sitting in my sister's house in Chennai.

* * * * *

Number Two Hundred is just a small number for random ramblings. Loads of mental junk need to be offloaded here. So, stay tuned... :)

Nothing matters

The hustle bustle of the day’s work was over. I was thoroughly exhausted.

As I was about to settle down for my night reading for inspiration, I was captivated by the blue & white combination that I saw from the bedroom window. Generally, Bahrain’s sky is one of the most disillusioned ones as it is rare to see stars or clouds at any point of the year. Hence it was a sight for me.

I mentally pushed aside the charms of ‘The Power of NOW’, opened the window fully and sat on a chair resting my arms on the sill. Those half an hour…

I watched the white clouds chasing something fast… no faster… I didn’t want to even get up and wear my glasses to correct my short sight as the large motion picture was clearly seen.

I turned my gaze towards the busy Exhibition Avenue, Jasmis, moving cars, people crossing the open ground…

At those rare seemingly satoric moments, there was no pain or joy, no remembrance of failures or successes, no reminders on duties or commitments, no thoughts on relationships, no fears on losing, no intellectual analysis, no expectations from anything or anybody, no worries on my imperfections, no questions on the many whys, no philosophical conclusions, no reasonings…

I became speechless.

I could not sit beyond a point. The humidity in the atmosphere and the buzzing of ACs from the neighbouring houses made me feel very hot. I closed the window and saw through the glass. I watched the chasing clouds against the stagnant blue sky and the fast moving cars on the road again.

I moved out of the window now as my mind and body were reminding me of the unbearable heat.

I switched ON the AC, picked up the book and started reading….

“The world arises when consciousness takes on shapes and forms, thought forms and material forms. Look at the million of life forms on this planet alone. In the sea, on land, in the air – and then each life form is replicated millions of times. To what end? Is someone or something playing a game, a game with form? This is what the ancient seers of India asked themselves. They saw the world as lila, a kind of divine game that God is playing. The individual life forms are obviously not very important in this game.”

I closed my eyes, finished my night prayers and dozed off to sleep in the next couple of minutes.

I felt divine in the morning.

I realise that nothing matters.

Yes. No thing really matters.

Smile wholesome

Yesterday evening, it was a revelation when Atul asked me all of a sudden, “Amma, can you make out if a smile is fake or not? I am not asking about the deliberate ones but the ones which appear genuine but not actually…..”

Believe me…….. I was really bowled over by his question. I didn't expect such a question from someone so young.

This is a mystery since the birth of this creation, isn’t it?

You don't give fake smile to anyone, Atul. That's all I can say.


* * * * *


Today morning after our morning walks, my friend and I happened to meet one 9-month old baby boy and a 2 year old dashing young girl in their typical black & white combination. It was hard to differentiate them as they both looked like carbon copies of each other. At least it appeared so to my eyes.

The proud papa picked up my friendly signal and came near us. He replied to my stupid question, “Are they friendly?” with “Oh yes, very much,” with a broad smile. I came back home with a happy heart because I had experienced the power of NOW when I looked into their innocent eyes and loving expressions.

When I returned home, Atul was equally ecstatic about my rendezvous and told me that we must have one too in Coimbatore. I simply smiled.

I have been only smiling since morning, thanks to those two little, cute, lovely pugs. The black smudges left behind by those pugs on my hands made me smile more while washing my hands back at home.

I am glad I met them.


* * * * *

I am reading two books simultaneously these days. One is 'Walking with a Himalayan Master' by Dr. Justin O'Brien and the other is 'The Power of NOW' by Eckhart Tolle. Though they are second readings for me, many new things are highlighted now.

Indeed an innocent smile is a gift of purity and divinity.

Fighting opinions

Two days back, my friend asked Atul, “What did you miss the most apart from food when your mother had gone to India for two months?” He replied candidly, “Fighting.” I could not control my laughter because his age is such that not a day passes without lengthy arguments between us. All meaningless arguments and topics! The word ‘fighting’ has no meaning at all here, which I know and he knows, because our relationship is based on trust and love.

I do not know about my past lives but in this life, one thing I can claim tall and that is, I have never fought with anyone nor carried over those burns hailed at me consciously. Because wrong perceptions and misunderstandings do happen in an opinionated world. In fact, opinion is the cause of all problems of life.

Marcus Aurelius has given a very simple solution in his famous book ‘The Meditations’ thus…

Take away thy opinion, and then there is taken away the complaint, "I have been harmed." Take away the complaint, "I have been harmed," and the harm is taken away.

While reading these words, I imagined him sitting in his tent with a quill in hand burning midnight oil thus pouring his heart out on goodness and godliness. In the midst of fight and fury of the war, hatred and losses of humanity, he had written such pearls of wisdom.

Everyone must read this diary at least once to know what this Roman Emperor had jotted down as his meditative thoughts some 2000 years ago. In fact, I mourned for his death in the film ‘Gladiator’ when his own son (Commodus) kills him for the sake of power. What a shame for this fine man of wisdom and humility! During those last moments of life, this great man would not have felt pain because of the physical wound but succumbed by the pain in the subtle heart caused by his own son for shifting priorities of life. For a prestigious father of lofty ideals, such a prodigal son was destined!

We are all no less than Commodus. In fact, the world is going worse consistently at the personal and global level, caring only for self-opinions and inflated egos. By the grace of Light, I am sure the world would get back its glory and smile once again soon. To achieve this at the earliest, let each one of us spread light and love at all times, throwing away those fighting opinions.

God bless!

The charm of balloons

I was waiting near a supermarket entrance today evening. It was extremely interesting to watch men and women of different sizes, shapes and ages walk in and out. It was also highly amusing to watch hand-in-hand couples in this summer heat (of course Malls are air conditioned) oblivious of the peeping world, including those in the family way. :D

There were also a few children holding big balloons in hands as if they were their greatest treasure. At that time, a sweet girl of around 6 years who appeared restless was walking to and fro near the entrance. She brought her father to the spot and started pressurizing him, “Appa, the balloon man has gone that side. Come, let’s go…..” The father obliged to her request soon, probably understanding that he stood no chance in convincing her. Holding his finger, she walked away in excitement in search of the balloon man. I stood focused in that direction to see the outcome.

The girl reappeared in 5 minutes with a long balloon in hand. Ah… her face exuded so much of joy and pride as if saying, “See, I too have one now.” She was no longer holding her father’s hand. He was walking alongside talking to someone on mobile. He must have been relieved inwardly that his daughter would not trouble him for sometime. Finally, they entered into the supermarket. I assumed that her mother must be doing purchases inside.

If Atul had come along, I would have laughed with him quoting his antics on balloons, toys etc. Really, the charm of balloons is irresistible, even for adults.

Having tasted roaring success one more time, the balloon man returned to the entrance looking out for healthy prospects.:D And he deserves success again and again.

Mathematical ambiguity

The gifts of 2009 are strengthening my will every minute but are also bringing heightened sensitivity. After finishing the reading of ‘A Certain Ambiguity’ by Gaurav Suri & Hartosh Singh Bal, I didn’t know how to swallow the lump in my throat for a long time.

The book is a mathematical novel lucidly questioning mathematical truths based on axioms (which is equal to calling unquestionable faith in spiritual terms). It is not a commercial novel so interesting to go deep in one go but you cannot ignore completing it as well. It is a good inspiring book for non-mathematicians to get introduced to the deeper concepts of Cantor’s Continuum Problem, Euclidian Geometry, Non-Euclidian Geometry etc on a surface level.

I was pained to know that many mathematicians including Euclid had burnt their lives to prove the Euclid’s fifth postulate. For more than 2000 years, this postulate was a challenge to geometers across the globe who had centered their lives on it but in vain. I wish to document here some of the extracts of published journals that touched my core being….

Girolamo Saccheri (1729) – …..I have spent hour after hour, night after night seeking the contradiction. Even in sleep I have dreamt about finding the refutation. My health has suffered, my loved ones have suffered, even my theological studies have been neglected…. Because it is still imperfect, I will not allow publications of this work until I die….

Baruch Spinoza (1656) – Today I was excommunicated. I was excommunicated for speaking the truth. It seems the truth was too stark for those who sat in judgment over me……. Instead of being persuaded by my common-sense deductions, they have accused me of blasphemy and thrown me out of their society….

Letter from Farkas Bolyai to his son Janos (1820) – I beg you, son, write poetry or plays, teach music or build homes, even grow apples or oranges if you like. In heaven’s name, do anything except try to prove the fifth postulate…… For God’s sake, I beseech you, give it up. Fear it no less than sensual passions because it, too, may take all your time, deprive you of your health, peace of mind, and happiness in life.

Nikolay Ivanovich Lobachevsky (1855) – I am blind and sick now and I know I am dying. My dearest eldest son has already died, I am in debt, my marriage has failed, and my career is over. But these are minor irritations compared to my greatest regret: the fact is that I have made the greatest mathematical discovery in two thousand years and have received no recognition for it….. But no one has understood the importance of this discovery. For over three decades, I have tried to get people to read this work, I have translated into French, German, and recently again to French, but it has not mattered. Nobody cares…..

Georg Cantor (1884) – I am depressed and troubled….. The quest for a solution now has a vice-like grip over me; it is impossible for me to think about anything or anyone else. I have not been out of the house for weeks and have not spoken to another human for days….

It is not the outline of the novel that touched me more but the lives of these mathematicians. There were many who had sacrificed their lives in search of space-shape connectivity. And we all know that mathematicians have to prove every certainty logically. Once again I came to realise that it is always lonely for those whose passions are truly sublime and esoteric. When there is none to share your passion, the pain is more felt in the heart.

After finishing the book, I didn't know how to dissipate the choking sensation in my throat, for my sensitivity had heightened to the extent of feeling the helpless agonies of the mathematicians in my being.

So, standing in the kitchen, my eyes searched for those lost souls in the sky through the window. Yes, I was searching for those few rare souls who were caught in mathematical ambiguities and lived their entire lives with a single goal beyond animal passions and selfish calculations but failed to prove…..

Silence to silence

Rarely do I sit for long in front of the computer these days but if at all I do, either it is to watch a movie or write or read something. My two-way communication with the outside world is drastically reduced.

The dancing of trees in the cool breeze, the red and yellow roses that blossom in the balcony, touch and go rains, exquisite conversations of birds all keep me in rapture. In fact, I was so taken away by the birds’ non-stop chattering on the solar eclipse day (July 22) that I wanted to learn their language. I could understand how Yanni would have derived inspiration for his ‘Nightingale’. No wonder, the great artist had made me enjoy the music though I am zero in musical skills. Listen to it if you have not heard so far.

There is no silence at all in the air because of these birds; yet silence is felt easily.

***

Watched BOLT. Hats off to the creators of this animation movie. The dog is so cute, naïve and loveable. I could not control my laughter when Bolt is nailed to ground realities and tries to learn unwillingly from Mittens ‘how to behave like a normal dog’.

Whether he is playing with the rubber carrot or begging for food under the able guidance of Mittens or enjoying simple joys of life like popping out of the window with his tongue out while travelling, Bolt is simply superb. After all, fake love and fake people are something that we all abhor and do not wish to be associated with. Bolt is no exception. Thank God, Penny proves to be a real person of real love.

This is one movie I may watch again and again. :)

***

I am reading ‘A Certain Ambiguity’ these days. Infinite doors are opening up in understanding the concept of infinity. Better… I should be more careful when I use the word ‘infinity’ henceforth. Once again, I realise why my late father was so addicted to Mathematics till his last breath.

I could not stop admiring the creative and interesting presentation of the difficult concepts of Mathematics.

That reminds me... though it is just 5 minutes away from my house, I am yet to make a visit to Crossword. I need at least a minimum of 3 hours to quietly laze around the bookshelves and also to watch the interesting personalities of all ages walk in. :D At present, I don’t have that much time but surely will do before I leave for Bahrain.

***

If I have had a daughter, I would have considered naming her as ‘Sanghamitra’. It is such a beautiful name. I used to feel a lot of grace and divinity in it. I am drawn to that name ever since I’ve heard of it in my childhood. To rewind a little history, she was the daughter of Emperor Ashoka who became a Buddhist monk and went to Sri Lanka along with her brother (Mahindra) to spread the teachings of Buddha and adopt female nuns.

When I was going through the train timetable a few days back, I was happy to see the name, though I am not travelling by Sanghamitra Express. :)

After so many years, now I could vaguely understand why I like the name 'Sangamitra'. It could be because

* though being a daughter of great emperor, she opted to become a nun and sacrificed her luxuries for a noble cause
* my love for Buddha

I feel stirred when I recite these powerful lines along with birds' loud whispers …..

Buddham Sharanam Gacchami
Dharmam Sharanam Gacchami
Sangam Sharanam Gacchami


Silence is easily felt in the air.

***

Touch of India

The central pipe of the umbrella refused to remain intact in its folded form. Yesterday evening, my brother and I decided to take it to task along with other works and hence were trying to locate a man who repairs umbrellas. Upon enquiry, we reached the place. Wowie…. I was dazed to see the open air professional repair shop under a tree with the background of license number plate and a big portrait of a god mending chappals.

The expert man checked the umbrella and told my brother that the pipe needed to be changed. My brother agreed too for a labour cost of Rs.35/-. Immediately, the man gave Rs.100/- to someone to buy pipes since he was running short of them. And he got 4 pipes and some change in return in a few minutes. Upon arrival of the pipes, the professional started working on our umbrella. In a minute, he turned our umbrella into a featherless bird and started working on it quickly fitting the pipe, springs, strings, rods etc one by one.

In the meantime, a clean and freshly bathed woman of middle age (must be his wife) came with boxes of food, sat on a stool nearby and started stitching the edges of an umbrella silently.

There were regular stream of visitors for umbrella repair and also to make calls on the four local telephones that were kept in front of him. His hands were working deftly raising his head only occasionally between umbrellas and telephones and also to answer to enquiries about bus stops in between. I was absolutely fascinated by his professional approach and multi-tasking capabilities.

Yes, India really rocks…..... This spirit of India which we can see in every nook and corner so casually is what I am thrilled about and proud of.

I wish some day we would find at least a week to stay in a rural village of Tamil Nadu during Pongal and enjoy the festival in its natural ambience, homely treatment and local delicacies (of course it must strictly be lacto-vegetarian food for all meals throughout the week). Not to mention actively involving in their non-stop candid talks and long walks along the river/lake side.

But we need a host on the first hand with our requirements fulfilled mentioned above. :D

***

Talking of India and her talented children, I was deeply moved by a performance of one Sunil in “India’s Got Talent” show being aired in Colors between 9 & 10 pm on Saturdays and Sundays. You may ask why he deserves this applause in this space when there are so many talented artistes from small villages, towns & cities who have moved on to the next level (about the judges, some other time I shall write if I feel so).

This young (barely educated) man became deaf and dumb by accident in his childhood. He has no connection to sounds at all in his life. But he dons the make-up of a woman and does Lavni as dancing is his passion, breath and breadwinner. And he dances and emotes without hearing the background music or beat with great perfection and timing.

How does he do? He has a very dedicated guru who is teaching him steps with 1, 2, 3, 4 counting. The teacher sends the student at the right beat on stage and with just 1, 2, 3, 4 counting, Sunil performs a full length dance sequence for one full song with right emotions on face. From his performance, you cannot believe that he is deaf and dumb nor is he a man. He is a true talent indeed and I rate him the highest score!

The teacher identified the passion of the poor student towards dancing and with great difficulty has taught him voluntarily sparing his time and efforts. No words can explain the dedication of the teacher and the ever fixed smile of the student. I value this ‘success’ & ‘achievement’ more than corporate balance sheets or any show business successes.

Without the teacher, dancing would have remained just a dream for the student. Without this student, the teacher would not have tried something so challenging in his life. This is called strength, determination and will power.

My salutations to both the teacher and the taught for their perfect understanding, respect, faith, patience and love towards each other.

***

You can imagine the inflow and outflow of people near a local station in the evening hours. Unmindful of who is watching and who is not, I ate fresh hot ‘vada pav’ yesterday evening standing on the road. I must say that both the enjoyer (me) and the enjoyed (vada pav) were very faithful to each other, as I relished the roadside delicacy after one year. :D

And the enjoyment that I got for just Rs.8/- ....... awwww… heavenly. I don’t have any other word to describe more. :)

***

Mumbai Munch - Round 4

I had to go out urgently on 14th July to pick up my ill brother from the Doc’s clinic. Mumbai had recorded heavy rainfall on that day in fact. It was raining cats & dogs outside. Though the destination was near, it was not reachable by walk. Moreover, I was skeptical about my recently healed right foot. Any slip anywhere in one of the dents on the roads would take me back to the dreadful situation and I do not wish to have it for one more time, especially now (when I have come down for a specific purpose).

But even to catch an auto, I have to walk for 4-5 mins to come out of the society campus. My umbrella and I seemed pathetic in front of the nature’s fury. At that time, an auto came near our block to drop off somebody. As I ran (conveniently forgetting my foot in excitement) to hold the man, he said that he was going in the opposite direction but he would drop me outside the compound. He also said, “Sambalke didi… Aaraam se aayiye…” :)

Not only did he drop me out, muttering to himself that it would be difficult to catch an auto in that rain, he fixed another auto for me and ensured that I got into it. When I tried to pay, he said with a smile that he didn’t do for money. He also said that he would have dropped me himself if he had not had another commitment elsewhere. I was really, really touched by his gesture.

How nice our world would be if each one is so genuine towards each other! Unfortunately, sometimes even known people behave like strangers at moments of distress.

As for the auto man, all I wish to say to him is, ‘Your Allah is all merciful.’

***

Watched a movie ‘Because of Winn Dixie’ a few days back. It is a clean movie with no glam girls or steamy scenes. The young 10 year old girl AnnaSophie looked angelic. I could not take my eyes off her. She exuded beauty and charm in all frames. The film as a whole is so cute and the dog (Winn Dixie) is absolutely adorable.

Those who want to know what is unconditional love, please do watch Winn Dixie’s expressions. I shall watch this movie with Atul once I reach Bahrain.

Next in pipeline to watch is ‘Bolt’. Hehe…

***

Some books you simply assume that you’ve read long back. One such is ‘To kill a mockingbird’. It is a book every adult nay every lawyer must read. The character of Atticus is very difficult to see in this world, especially among the present breed of lawyers.

When I told Atul over chat that I am reading this book, he asked me, “How many times will you read this?”

I said, “This is the first time I am reading,” for which he replied, “No, you have read it before.”

Did I? I don’t remember though. :D

Mumbai Munch - Round 3

Yesterday night after dinner, my brother, Mother and I were reliving some of the memories for a long time. For a moment, I felt so young under the umbrella of Mother. :) Didn’t want to grow up but the reality was that I forgot to come online for a chat with my husband at that time. Poor guy! By the time (i.e. 11:30 IST) I had grown up again (hehe…), he was not online. I had to call him up from my (Mother’s) mobile to say that I am going to bed as I feel very tired and sleepy. Well, after my night prayers, I became fresh and didn’t know what to do at midnight. :D

Though many untrue and true souls walk along the journey, I realized that there can be no permanent companion from birth to death giving permanent happiness. Life is very strange indeed. Many times we lose sight of the purpose.

God! Did I become too philosophical?

Probably must have dozed off unable to withstand my own philosophical thought process. However, I was woken up at 5:45 am today morning by an sms from my friend.

:D

***

Finished reading the book ‘Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar…’ The book is mainly on Western philosophy though Eastern is also touched here and there. The authors Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein managed to lucidly present the boring & difficult philosophical concepts through jokes. It is a creative attempt indeed.

But did I enjoy reading this book? I can’t say clearly because I couldn’t enjoy some of the jokes as they were vulgar in any standard. Did I grasp the philosophical concepts clearly? Well, I did at the time of reading but can’t recollect now. It could be due to my poor intelligence only. However I was laughing throughout the ‘Acknowledgements’.

Here’s one of the conversations that I enjoyed which explained 'Absolute Relativity'...

Dimitri : So, Tasso, you seem to be one of those guys who thinks there is no absolute truth, that all truth is relative.
Tasso : Right.
Dimitri : Are you sure of that?
Tasso : Absolutely.

Ok... Now a joke on 'Relativity of Worldviews'

A multinational corporation advertises for a secretary. A golden retriever applies for the job, passes the typing test, and is granted an interview. The human-resources manager asks, "Do you speak any foreign languages?"

And the golden retriever says, "Meow."

I felt that “Sophie’s World” is my type of book (though the ending of SW is awkward & disappointing) as the philosophical concepts are presented more clearly.

The students of these authors are really fortunate. I can understand how entertaining and enlivening their classes would be.

***

Now got to watch another dog movie during my spare time. Shall write on this later. :)

English mania

Talking about English in my last blog reminded me of my morning visit to Atul’s school on the day of leaving Bahrain i.e. 26th June. In spite of the mind spinning work that I had at home, I wanted to surprise him. Moreover, there was a PTM from 8:45 to 11:30 am on that day.

It was a Friday and hence a holiday for him. Since he has taken up Kiran More coaching classes for 3 weeks, he was up and ready at 5 am itself for his morning coaching. At the end of training for the day at around 8:00 am, there was an unexpected assembly of the participating students to give a few tips and also to distribute T-Shirts. It was just an informal gathering in the auditorium of the school. I could see both the students and teachers were sweating profusely because of their intense physical practice in the summer heat. Under the circumstances, the PT Master in-charge was acting as MC on an emergency basis. He was talking in English which was grammatically incorrect many times.

What irritated me was, the elite group sitting at the backside were commenting and laughing about every sentence that he spoke and poor organizing skills of the school. I felt like asking a few questions…

1) If your ward is studying in an elite school and if you are so concerned about English, why do you have to send your child to this mediocre school for cricket coaching?

2) Why do you have to grumble so much for spending extra half an hour for the sake of your own child? I know how much time you spend for parties and club activities.

3) Are you aware that English proficiency is not a must for a PT Master? He should be able to convey the key message to the children in simple words and the children should grasp without fail which both the parties are doing without any problems. How stupid you can be to assume that English is the end of the world!

4) Do you know that many great personalities of sports, arts and science do not speak in English even though they know the language. Be aware that it is only the perfection in one’s field of interest that really matters which they know and the world too knows. That's why they command respect.

5) By the way, are you a literary giant whom the world adores? Even they don't do such foolish things, for they know that humility is what makes a man complete.

6) By talking ill of teachers in front of your children, do you know that you are dangerously stealing the respect your child has to give to his teachers? Is this the culture that you want to pass on to your child?

7) Can’t you sit quietly and listen patiently to what others have to say? At least learn not to criticize on such unimportant matters if you have to talk in between. It badly reflects only on your character.

I happened to be a witness to this shameful act. I feel really sad.

Mumbai Munch - Round 2

Last Saturday (04/07/2009), it was heavy downpour over here. I was just watching, watching and watching from the kitchen window as I was busy throughout the day. Having settled in a country where I hardly see any rains, such yearly visits to Mumbai during monsoon time is a real treat for me though I’ve heard Mumbaikars hating this season. Today the weather is gloomy as it is drizzling since morning. I could hear the birds having their morning conversations too. This reminds me of the birds from the nearby trees playing rhythmic beats to Swamiji’s morning speeches during our stay in Siddhbhari ashram this March. Ah! Life is indeed beautiful!

***

To refer a word, I picked up our old English Oxford Dictionary which is not in so good a condition. While I was mentally chiding my brother for not replacing with the latest one, I was in near tears to see my late father’s beautiful running handwriting throughout the pages. For example, against the word ‘peripatetic’, he had written ‘itinerant’ for a quick reference.

Even in the midst of severe pains, I’ve seen him reading or solving crossword or adding new words from Readers’ Digest, or create such thesaurus shortcuts. He had never sat idle. He had never grumbled, moaned or got irritated for the pains that he was going through because he had mastered the art of channeling his energies. Any subject could ignite his interest, be it Philosophy, Psychology, Mathematics, English, History, Geography, Science, Religion, Sports or anything for that matter. He was a keen and humble learner till he breathed his last.

Yesterday I learnt a new word thanks to his eye catching handwriting – ‘verbigerate’. He is teaching still even after cutting off his relationship with us 12 years back.

Out of sudden impulse, I opened the first page to get shocked. You know what…. my name is imprinted there as ‘S. Padmaja’ in capital letters in my own handwriting. This was indeed my old dictionary which he was using during his last years (which I had forgotten all these years).

I quietly returned the treasure back to its original place.

***

Two days back, I was trying to fix BiPap for Mother after her breakfast so that she can have her required quota of BiPap hours per day. In spite of the limitations that she has got, she joked, “See… just like smokers and drunkards, I have also become addicted to this. My physical body craves for this.”

I replied to her with a smile, “This is your life support and not a destructive habit. Your physical body craves for it because your lungs need it. Do not think otherwise.”

She nodded innocently.

Ah! She is a great woman of willpower and mental strength. I marvel at her combination of innocence and intelligence.

***

I got to write on the book that I am reading but only later. :)

Mumbai munch

Whenever I come down to Mumbai, it is an unwritten rule that I start using Mother’s mobile number without even informing her. So, enjoying the rains from the balcony, I was speaking to my friend last week who had fondly remembered me to make that long distance call.

Upon completion of the call, my brother casually asked me, “Who’s that?”

Mother replied with a smile, “Don’t you know that she could befriend anyone even in the first meet?”

I could not stop exclaiming loudly if this is a compliment or something different. We three had a good laugh after that.

On a serious note, I could honestly say that I have only a few handful of dear friends who are with me for a long time wherever they are.

***

From the commentary box, Alan Wilkins rightly called the two players ‘gladiators’. Probably he would have been inspired to say so after seeing the ‘Gladiator’ Russell Crowe sitting on the stands. True to his words, yesterday’s Wimbledon Final Men’s match was one such that neither Roger Federer nor Andy Roddick was willing to give away the coveted championship so easily. The spectators were blessed to witness one of the graceful fights on the court yesterday. Roger appeared contented and grinning from ear to ear as he has become a tennis icon after yesterday’s win in front of legendary Rod Laver, Pete Sampras, Bjorn Borg. He was the same man who broke down emotionally after clinching this year’s French Open title. And it was he who cried after losing 2009 Australian Open title to Nadal.

You have broken a dream record yesterday. No tears this time, Federer?

Well, well…. emotions are part and parcel of every human being and that’s what differentiates a human from a stone.

While Roger Federer was seen outwardly happy, Andy Roddick tried very hard to control his emotions and behaved so well. My heart is always concerned about the emotions of losers than feeling one with the winners. Why am I like this?

***

Some 4-5 days back, I watched a very, very sweet film ‘Air Buddies’. Those kids… hehe….. golden retriever pups were absolutely adorable. You could imagine how much I would have enjoyed the movie, I being a dog lover. If you have kids, ask them to watch. They would love it. If you have childlike heart, you too can watch this movie. I wish to watch again with Atul and Balaji once I return to Bahrain. :)

Your face will be fixed with a smile when you see the puppy ‘Buddha’ chanting ‘Aum’ to collect positive energy during one of its difficult journeys to rescue its gifted parents. :)

***

More later.

Remembering a lonely travel

Most of the time the flight journeys, especially when travelled alone, are boring. On 26th June night, I had to board the Jet Airways flight to Mumbai alone but the journey was entertaining throughout.

Sitting in the lounge of Bahrain Airport alone, I was watching the steady movement of passengers of multi nationalities walking with anxious looks and different colourful/ funny attires, totally unaware of two watchful eyes at a distance. I remembered sarcastic Socrates who was seen in the market place everyday to derive inspirational truths. He has missed one of the most entertaining dramas by being born in the ancient era. (Atul terms my childhood as ‘ancient’; would he call Socrates’ period as Stone Age?) :)

In front of me were sitting a big group of white clad Muslims of around 70 years old. I was fascinated to see so many old men and women of middle class genre travelling together as a group somewhere. Some of them were sleepy, some chit chatting lazily, some sitting quietly, a few sitting on the floor, a couple of them looking at me curiously and tried to talk to me as well. I wondered what could have bonded them all together! Where are they upto? It appeared wonderful to see so many oldies as one big family. I salute their spirit and enthusiasm.

As I was lost in the colours in front of me, I missed the announcement of the change of gate number. All of a sudden I realized that I had to rush to Gate 31 from Gate 16. In fact, I checked in only 1:45 hours before which in all international standards can not be termed as early. Why can’t the gate number be correctly printed in the Boarding Pass? In fact, the Jet Airways employee who issued me the Boarding Pass told me verbally twice to go to Gate 16.

As soon as I settled down in the flight, the pilot ignited the engine at 9:30 pm itself instead of the scheduled 10 pm and took off at 9:40 pm. Jet is always ahead of their schedule which I have experienced many times. No complaints though.

One thing I always enjoy is the identity crisis the strangers face upon seeing me. I have experiences of people who know me beforehand that I am from Tamilnadu, talk in Hindi or Marati in front of me not knowing that I can speak/understand both the languages. Way back, one gentleman used to talk to his newly wedded wife in Marati in front of me for many days and you must see his face when I revealed one day that I could follow him. Hehe… On the other hand, those who see me for the first time have asked me if I am a Gujrati, Marati or even Bengali. Ha! You must see their surprise and confusion when I inform them that I am a pucca South Indian. One such small incident happened in this flight also. :D This is all funny but still one thing I don’t understand till date is, why should people assume and try to superimpose their judgment on me?

The minute my flight landed in Mumbai, I felt as if the whole of India was welcoming me with her usual cheer. I prayed for a minute that my visit must be fruitful to me and others.

Amchi Mumbai arrivals is looking very pleasant outside what with new structures are erected for the sake of receiving friends & relatives. Earlier, it used to be horrible.

As I stepped out of the airport, I saw my brother waiting for me to take me home. When I entered into our small flat finally at 5:30 am, Mother was eagerly waiting for me. She had not slept the whole night it seems as she was excited about my arrival.

Though the current technology has shrunk any distance to a mere touch of a computer or phone, I still miss my near and dear ones in Bahrain. Yet I am happy to be in India. Jai Ho!


P.S. I shall try to record my philosophical muse in the ‘Divine Vibrations’ soon.

A reminder

I asked Atul the other day if he would read my blog one day.

Instant came the reply, “Why should I? I am seeing you everyday, am I not? I know you well.”

I replied back, “No. You don’t know me fully.”

Seriously I don’t know what made me ask that silly question or answer that way. But one thing is for sure – if and when he develops any inclination to read my writings, he will know me a little more.

By the way, why should he?

He should not know me only through my writings that I consistently & vigorously struggled hard to remain human at every given precious moments of life.

Today’s forecast reads, “Expect a struggle now, but remember how tenacious you are.” For the first time in my life, I am reading some truth about me in this column. Yes, I am tenacious. A reminder worth remembering. Thank you.

That reminds me, my son need not know that my writings are some of the reflections and condensation of my tenacious nature only. :)

Musical musings

‘Right now right now……’

The Akon song was being played again and again in the midst of heated studies for the exams. I had to be firm with Atul especially during exam time to concentrate only on studies, nevertheless he wins me over easily with his wit and arguments. I wish to document a few fragments of moments that we shared in these last few days.

1) The most memorable day was the day prior to his Hindi exam. He wanted to relate all words of paryayavaachi with famous personalities. He managed to relate piyush with Piyush Chawla, sudha with Sudha Chandran, chamak with Shiamak Dhavar.

When I told him to memorise them as we were running short of time and there were hardly 10 or 12 synonyms, (because either he should have given this job to me beforehand or he should have worked out on his own), he replied, “Education should be fun. You know…. Aunty ‘x’ is teaching like this only to students while counseling the children.”

I retorted, “She is doing so for mentally challenged children. Are you one?”

He immediately bounced back, “But this is a mentally challenging subject for me.” :)

2) He is extremely serious on two things for which he is troubling me a lot. Basically he is an environmentalist.

* To maintain separate bags for recyclable waste and others. Tomorrow is his science exam and he is reminding me again now. He wants to personally see to it that the recyclable materials are sent to proper places. And he is ready to find out contacts on his own.

* He has been arguing with me for a long time that I don’t care for his generation a bit. Ask me why. He argues that my taking bath twice a day would deprive him of water for his generation and that I am a selfish being. What can I say now? :D

3) He has the habit of drawing a few ideas after every exam provided he finds time after finishing it. On the day of Hindi exam, I saw a page full of drawings – very interesting and sweet. :)

Today was his English exam. As soon as he entered, I asked him, “How was your exam?” He said that it was good. My next question - “Did you draw anything?” hehe…

He said, “No, Amma. I didn’t get any idea today.” I was really surprised.

Oh dear! First time I am hearing from you that you ran out of ideas. I know that your life is very simple and you wish to enjoy life with a few things like…

• scoring at least 96% in academics
• playing cricket
• swimming
• listening to music
• reading books
• learning tabla
• eating pizzas, burgers thrice a year
• going to theme parks once in a while

Did I leave any?

I remember the song which you hear everyday, “You are beautiful, you are so beautiful…..”

I want you to always retain the beautiful smile, innocent loud laughter and carefree attitude as you adorn now.

With love...

I don’t know you for long but I know that you are very sweet, sensitive, childlike and emotional. I was only introduced to you a year back. My curiosity to speak in my native language in Bahrain had died long ago but was rekindled because of you. If I remember correctly, we had communicated in English more than our language.

We could identify people of their real nature only at times of trials and pains. You were one of those who stood by me during my difficult times of plaster cast and painful stagnant days. I am very, very grateful for that. You may not be aware that your pleasant demeanor, caring attitude and a big heart are the boons for those interacting with you.

You are a great mother, dear S. The present situation is only a passing phase. Your decision to leave Bahrain is appreciated. Good times must follow testing periods as a reward of courage and wisdom being exhibited. The good Lord would always be kind with you. My prayers are always there.

You always say, "You are like my little sister." I shall try my best to keep up your words. Shall keep in touch wherever we are placed.

God bless you always!

With love

Beeline of winners

Tears of joy on account of success is no one origin’s patent. As I was flipping through the channels at around 10:30 pm, I stumbled upon ESPN that broadcast the Scripps National Spelling Bee Finals which held on May 28th at Washington DC. Out of the last 7 finalists, I was astonished to see four girls of Indian origin. The winner, Kavya Shivshankar was simple, cool, clear and confident. This 13-year old girl made me feel as if the spelling bee contest is so easy. The smiling girl could not contain her tears of joy (at last) upon clearing the winning word.

The secret, as it seemed to me, lies in love for English, developing close affinity with alphabets, familiarity with languages of origin like French, Latin etc, mastering immaculate pronunciation techniques, extreme hard work and of course, the attitude.

Kyle Mou’s calmness, Kennyi Aouad’s laughter (This boy received standing ovation when he was ousted. He patted his father’s back upon losing… oh....he is such a darling), Aishwarya’s analytical thinking, Tim Riuter’s confidence and all the final contestants whom I had watched – they are all amazing.

I saw the equanimity, grace, calmness and smile on those young faces throughout even in the midst of intense thinking. What if the rest of the contestants missed or jumbled one or two alphabets here and there. They are all sure winners of life. God bless!

Cloning - a window to hope & despair

I was startled upon reading the news item on Injaz, the first cloned camel. The cute animal was seen tucked between the legs of its surrogate mother. The report added that the baby was cloned using the ovaries and DNA preserved from the originally slaughtered camel (for meat in 2005). The camel was brought out for display in Dubai last week.

There was a knot in my stomach after reading this. It happened so a few years back upon seeing Dolly’s picture in the newspaper though I could not stop marveling human brain’s finesse. However, there are a series of points that buzzed inside like…

1) The five sensed animals, if cloned, may or may not create havoc in the environment but there will be 100% confusion if tested with humans. At least I think so.

2) If tried, will human cloning be the exact replica of the original personality – both exterior and interior?

3) When exterior matching itself can be the cause of major chaos, what would happen if the interior i.e. emotions, feelings, character, talents etc too are cloned alongside physical features?

4) How best can this be explained in spiritual terms? The encapsulated soul with causal and astral bodies do move out of the physical body after physical death is what I have read. If I believe in the law that I do choose my parents, family, surroundings, country, culture, features, talents, drawbacks, diseases etc based on my karmas, are there many souls like me with similar karmic balances to take up a similar body and life like me? Would it be the same soul or a different soul?

5) Does God approve of this cloning? Is that the reason the soul is injected into the new body?

6) If Dolly had lived only for a year, does it imply that cloned animals do not have long life unlike others born naturally? Or was it just that soul’s destiny to live only that much? Injaz might answer this question sooner or later.

7) If I think that everything happens as per His Will, then this knowledge of cloning animals is available to humans as per His Will. But if I think that man is exercising his freewill given by God to satisfy his intellectual ego, then I am worried.

8) However, if cloning is done only to replicate the organs, then it can be termed as the greatest breakthrough for better survival. Otherwise, it would end up just like nuclear physics in the wrong hands.

9) One thing has to be appreciated however. The thirst and search for knowledge continues in man ever since he is created on this planet.

The above points cropped up at that moment of reading the news and continued to ping me till such time I heard my inner voice asking me to concentrate only on my sadhana and the universe will take care of such things in its own way.

As Swami Vivekananda said, “Knowledge can be got in one way, the way of experience and there is no other way to know,” I would continue to wait for the knowledge to explain the mysteries of creation. :)


(written on 05/06/2009)

Balavihar Mahotsav 2009

The Balavihar Mahotsav was celebrated on May 29, 2009 at the Bahrain Society of Engineers Hall with great enthusiasm by the participants, volunteers and parents alike. The dedication and devotion of the volunteers were evident from the outcome of the utsav celebrations. While the tiny tots were very, very sweet, our group exhibited maturity and poise, negating my tension.

Teaching, especially kids, was alien to me as I used to feel that I am not fit enough because of my shyness to vocal expressions. Ask me to write I can do it somehow. But teaching, no way. However, when Swami M asked me last December to take classes for the teenagers (CHYK), I was inwardly taken aback. Though I said, ‘Yes’, I was wondering what could this move mean in my life. Can I do it? I have no teaching experience at all. But ‘commitment’ is more important any day and hence I’ve also become a part of the group of four to train the teen minds, the toughest to handle.

The practice sessions for the utsav at my place were full of fun as the children were never serious about the performance. The singers (Atul, Aditya and Arya), the keyboard player (Gaurav Mittal) and the actors (Aishwarya, Urvi, Pranjali, Suraj, Sanath, Gaurav Pandey and Aravind) finally realized the need the previous night and gave a perfect performance on stage on 29th for the patriotic song ‘Aao bachcho’. Special mention is to be made about fellow Sevak, Mr. Prem Sagar who dedicated his time and effort in spite of his hectic schedule.

In one word, all the volunteers were simply superb.

I thank God for making me learn everyday in different ways from the young and the old alike, in body, mind and spirit. I thank Swamiji for making me a part of youthful life.

The local newspaper GDN published our group photo on 30th May which was taken after the performance. :)


(written on 03/06/2009)

P.S. Due to shifting, I was under forced retreat and hence away from internet and landline for more than a week. But somehow managed to document these few words in spite of the head spinning work that we had. :)

Make-up

I have always admired beautiful women walking in élan with impeccable make-up and a plastic smile. But they have also raised enough curiosity in me to see their faces without make-up. :D

Is the make-up beautifying them or the luxuriant products get beatified because of them? Are they really angelic as they appear to be?

Way back, my orthodox middle class family never allowed make-up of any sort till I started my career. Oh yes, I donned make-up while playing small roles on stage during my childhood. Of course, I wanted to own a make-up kit at that time. Ah…. innocent days…….

Even during my working days, the maximum externals that beautified me were lipstick and nail polish. I am a person of commitment and hence I was dedicated to a couple of lipstick and nail polish unlike my friends who had a rack full of different shades pining for their elegant touch. However, the day I learnt about the inner make up, my poor knowledge on external decoration got dropped on its own at that instant.

Some of my decisions (though mundane) were very strong and this was one among them. Since then, I have not wavered even once. Do not assume that I am a person of great determination always. No. This one is a simple revelation. That’s all.

When I see the young girls of today, I could not stop admiring the way they carry themselves with the glittering make-up and high heels to prance around. Not to mention of the proud parents who encourage their children to be so whether on stage or off stage.

I could not thank my strict parents enough now, for they had given confidence in a subtle level. Not only that, they were strict in not accumulating inner make-up which I realized later.

Actually, while turning the pages of GDN today morning, I felt grieved to read the article on the man who has woken up from coma, a victim of bomb blast who has lost his eyes, right hand and a mutilated face which has to be literally reconstructed. Ironically, he is one of the suspects for assembling the bomb and is going to be tried in court.

With a face to rebuild, dented eye sockets and a missing right hand, what more can he look out for in life? Is this awakening from sleep a punishment for him? Whether he is innocent or convict, he has to face physical and mental trauma in the coming weeks. The man’s file photo reminded me of the topic ‘make-up’, for face is the base of expressing emotions and a platform to exude sweetness hiding the volcano within.

Inner make-up is more dangerous to self and others. The layer that covers the self is dirt and not a beauty product.

Are we one among the many who is roaming around with a flawless inner make-up?

Whispers to take wings

There is an idea to document echoes of the spirit. I have just opened a space to write down my lively and loud thinking.

If interested, you may follow or subscribe to my thoughts here….

http://divine-vibrations.blogspot.com

The above space will go live in the coming days or months.

Of course, my mundane whispers will continue here too. That reminds me of the article that I wanted to write on ‘Make-up’. Shall write soon. :)

It's all mind play

According to me, ‘dream’ is a common term that we use to

• justify sleepless nights
• project positivity
• set standards and goals
• brush off whimsical fantasies

Ironically, I had remained a victim of all the four in the past.

Dreams have the potential to diffuse, amuse or bemuse us. It can even frighten the core of our being and shake us.

The subconscious and unconscious layers of my mind had been generous enough to release many such reels without my conscious permission in all these years. Though the rationale part of the mind try to pose its logic, I fail to ignore them sometimes. Honestly, I’ve never had dreams of the types of Bharathiraja films so far. :)

At one point of time, I had dreamt of flashing doctor’s white coat on my shoulders, brushing a few strokes of colours, flying high as a pilot, tying dancers’ tinkles for my feet, playing veena, writing volumes of poetry, becoming a nuclear scientist etc. Dreams remained distant dreams though I could have sparkled in all. This is written not out of over confidence but because of the interests that I had at that time.

When I realized that there were no opportunities to pursue my dreams, I didn’t even bother to widen my knowledge on them. Now, I have burnt all of those dreams without trace as I understood that they are burdens to my onward journey. I am still holding on to ‘writing’ not to prove to anybody but only to fine tune my thoughts. If anyone is benefitted by this public display, it could be sheer coincidence.

Coming to the subject matter, two days back I was praying to God while lying on the bed to forgive all those known and unknown who had wished ill of me and hurt my soul in all my lives. I had no idea when I slept but was rudely woken up by a strange dream set in ancient times in which I realized a conspiracy to kill me, that those whom I approached for help turned into conspirators and that I was given a deep cut on my right palm so that I could bleed to death. I walked and walked the ups and down of many steps with dripping blood trailing me wherever I went but none bothered to help me out. As I was losing consciousness, I raised my bleeding hand towards two unknown strangers (an old man and a woman) as an act of relaying my intention to forgive those who harmed me and fell dead. The death was peaceful.

As I opened my eyes abruptly in the middle of the night, though chilling the dream experience was, I was not at all perturbed. Instead I was peaceful. I smiled within that my wish is registered in the subconscious or unconscious mind somehow.

This reminds me now that I had experienced all the four characteristics that I had enumerated in the opening para at one stretch. Now I got to seriously watch the mounds of thoughts for a better mind play.

To write or not to write - that's never a question

This is my space given freely by the provider host. I have freedom to exhibit my emotions openly. I know well that I have no interest in becoming rich and famous; neither have any inclination to promote my ideas to anyone. I have no die-hard followers or fans of my writing.

My writing reflects only truth and hence it might appear repetitive sometimes. I write because I like to write. Of course, I am sensitive and sensible enough not to hurt anyone with my words, whether verbal or written.

I am not ashamed to accept that I’m an imperfect being; yet I struggle my best to keep up my commitments of actions, words and thoughts. At least I am aware that I have the 'right' only to change myself and not others. No wonder, I get agitated by the global and personal display of mean mindedness, cheap attitude, stinginess, wickedness, manipulation, backbiting, dark humour, selfishness, superiority complex, arrogance and violence. It is really, really difficult to tolerate such people. Sometimes, I think it is wise to live in the world of dreams than to see these sadists prowling around.

Ironically, these idiots don’t understand ‘freedom’ doesn’t mean that they have all the freedom to rebuke, hurt, humiliate or torture others physically or psychologically. They never realise that they are slaves to their crooked thinking and that there can be no greater challenge than silencing the inner noise.

Even with the freedom of space and thoughts, it would be of bad taste to yield to the temptations of scalding such opportunists with my write-ups. Because the inner voice asks me only one question – Do they deserve your time and efforts?

Hence, I wish to consciously document only sublime emotions and thoughts. There is grace and beauty in choosing positive words and thoughts, which illumines the physical personality as well. I am of the belief that the aura of such a person exudes peace & love and attracts even the passersby. So, I reaffirm myself not to sway from this standard. However, I would also like to share even simple & great things that I come across everyday such as….

• I listened to Susan Boyle upon my brother’s mention. I was taken aback by her soulful rendition of ‘I dreamed a dream’. I became emotional and the last line 'I dreamed a dream' brought tears into my eyes.

• I am awed at Andrea’s (Leonardo Da Vinci’s mentor) fearless words to the Signory some 600 years ago after cutting off the head and legs of the bronze horse created by him.

• Leonardo’s undisputed master brain in various fields which includes painting - how would it have appeared under PET scanner?

• Astonishing revelations of 2012.

• My interest in watching only those parts related to Camerlengo in the film ‘Angels & Demons’ though I do not wish to go through the pain again, which I experienced after reading the book.

• And many more….

So, keep a tab here. I may not entertain or enlighten you but will surely try to motivate you with my little experiential knowledge. :)

Judgment - where do I stand?

Judgment Day – my Christian schooling has drilled me this concept at a very young age. I still remember the bunch of pictures of hell that were given to us. My little brain could not answer many questions sitting at school …

• Will God judge only Christians?
• Will He judge me also, a Hindu?
• Where will I be after judgment – heaven or hell?
• When is the Judgment Day?
• Where will I be after my death?
• Should I need to wait till my day of judgment?
• Will God announce His judgment in front of everybody?
• If I am supposed to go to hell, will everybody know about it?

I had taken all these questions to heart very seriously that lingered in my mind as an infinite loop, because of which I had a quiet childhood. You know I wanted to be a good child. Most importantly, I didn’t want God to brand me as a bad child. All along, I was also curious to know what happened to all those who had died so far – would they be in heaven or hell? I was also judgmental about the people around whether they would go to hell or heaven based on their rude behaviour or actions.

In parallel, at home my parents too talked about swarg and narak whenever they wanted to discipline us. I was confused because there were too many gods and goddesses being worshipped at home. Which god or goddess to trust? Who would listen to my prayers patiently and whom not to? Who would be less judgmental and forgive me than the ruthless Christian God? You know….. it was fixed in my mind that as a Hindu, yama doothas only can take me to hell and heaven and not the angels or demons of Christianity. However, secretly, in the heart of hearts, Jesus appealed to my heart more and I didn’t want to disclose this to anyone.

In the bargain, the concept of judgment got rooted in me firmly.

One fine day, all my confusions were dispelled thanks to the sacred texts - Gita and Upanishads. The fear of Judgment Day got diluted and understood that there is only one God for all. But another fear gripped my being. If I am answerable to all my actions, words and thoughts, what is the basic thing that I need to watch. To my rude shock, the answer that came from inside was ‘judgment’.

It was a tough task. We always remember one’s past based on which we judge his or her present. Many times I have failed. But a few times I’ve succeeded too when I consciously refuse to think about them. When my fellow Chetana friends assigned the task of no judgment for a week, I chuckled inside. I started observing my inner being closely. During the course of this week, an opportunity arose…

We were invited for a house warming ceremony recently. There was also a discourse given by one of the spiritual group members. During his discourse, he said, “Some spiritual organisations build schools, colleges and hospitals. Can we call this as service? No, they are ignorant. We have to do seva to Krishna directly.”

I could not stop wondering how can one do service to the Lord directly. Is it only building temples? Is it only doing pujas or parayanas? Are not all beings manifestations of the same divine? Will not the service done to fellow beings reach Krishna? Is not Manava seva Madhava seva?

What appeals to one need not for the other. Then why should he be judgmental about other types of service? Meditation or ceaseless chanting is not for all, isn’t it? In that case, why is he teaching wrongly?

Or...... or is my thinking wrong?

Now the basic question looms large - was or am I judgmental on him? I don’t know really. I don’t know really…

The road less travelled

The concept of heaven and hell had been an integral part of growing up for me. In fact, it must be so for many. Till I got inspired by Gandhiji’s biography during my secondary school, I was afraid of the punishment in hell. And this kept a check on my words that I uttered. Later on, I willingly avoided situations that pushed me to speak untruth.

Just like any other, my growing up was also confused because lies and liars were aplenty. It’s a challenge for my ordinary mind, what with its own labyrinth of surprises and shocks, to cope with other liar mazes that loomed large in front of me. Over a period of years, I learnt to stand beside the liars and listen to them with patience.

Not that I boast of adhering to truth always. The slippages do happen sometimes. But one truth that I cannot deny myself is that I had truthfully tried to be a good daughter all these years.

Today is my late Father’s birthday. Although he had ascended to the other world long back, a small tribute awaits his soul on this earth from me today. This tribute is my promise to live a more humane life, for he had always wanted his children to spread light like stars of the sky.

Scientifically speaking, the twinkling of a star reaches our earth after many, many years of its action. This always reminds me that anything that is bound by time and space has its own limitations and what we sense may not be true and happening at all times.

Such similar simple truths are expounded in my writing along with translation of Gita verses in Tamil. This project is completed today after three years of bumping journey. There were a lot of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual upheavals during this expedition. Truthfully speaking, it has sailed through on its own thanks to the support, guidance and blessings of noble & divine souls. More than anything else, it has reminded me in whispers that consistency is one of the key factors of spiritual life and heaven or hell is only ramifications of my mental chatters.

I’ve dedicated the Garland of Pearls to my parents without whom my existence on this planet would have been impossible. I strongly believe and wish that this offering would go to my Guru eventually as my small token of love on his birthday which falls on May 18th i.e. tomorrow.

Though it is a great moment of my life, I don't feel any elation upon this achievement but surely emotional. Of course, the stress is lifted and a void is felt deep within, for it is the result of my passion for writing. :)


Incidentally this is my 175th post.

O Matter! What's the matter?

A headache is a real headache. It has the capability to spoil the day. Mine is worse, for I never get ordinary headaches. Or probably I should say, I have no experience at all on ordinary headaches. It is as if I am an eternal member of the elite group - Migraine Mavericks Mission. :)

Migraine swarms my being as a sole proprietor of my body and drains my energy wholly. You feel better to cry aloud during those times of helpless hours but many times I don’t have the energy to cry even. My otherwise serene face could not hide this pain however.

I think of all those terminally ill and chronic patients and pray for them with my blasting pain. I also think of Morrie of ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ fame and my beloved Father. How, how on earth could they bear that much pain! Last Friday was one of my worst hit days in recent times (or do I feel so every time I’m hit?). Glaring lights and blaring sound are never going to be my friends.

Ah! That reminds me to add here that Atul performed his Hindustani Vocal and Tabla (both group performance) during the Annual Day functions of IIPA on May 8, 2009. My migraine got aggravated only because of this. However, I ventured out of the house with my limping foot after a long hiatus and I’m happy about it.

Lately, I had been doing some serious reading on ‘antimatter’. Very interesting subject it is. I wonder every time how many scientists would have sacrificed their whole lives to establish their findings. Also, how many scientists would have met the ill-fate of death in the hands of jealousy and conspiracy for fame, name and money. I have promised Atul to teach about ‘antimatter’ this week. Let me see….

By the way Atul asked me what prompted me to read about ‘antimatter’ all of a sudden. A very relevant question indeed, isn’t it? The answer is simple. People who know me well can easily guess.

I have borrowed the book ‘Angels & Demons’ written by Dan Brown (from my friend) which deals with the subject. Unless and until I understand a subject, I cannot proceed further in my reading of the book. Hence this curious interest in Particle Physics. :)

Scientists say that we belong to a universe of ‘matter’ and there may be a universe of ‘antimatter’. They also say that the properties and functioning of both are the same. That goes to prove that whether I live in the universe of ‘matter’ or ‘antimatter’, my migraine would happily go on. This could be my only finding of this life. :D :D

How much time?

Desires and dreams are parts of a human life, so we all know. While these two big Ds seem to possess the power of shattering all boundaries of sanity, it is ironic to realise that dreams vapour up into nothingness without the touch of desires. Now, the curious question arises - where do these dreams reside and how many desires constitute one dream?

Last Friday we had organized a movie viewing at our residence for the chyks. The movie chosen was – “The 36th Chamber of Shaolin”. With my fractured foot, I was all appreciation for San Te who learns the martial art, Kung Fu from the monks of Shaolin Temple, to start with his fractured leg. One needs great determination, willpower and single pointed goal to cross those 35 chambers one by one in such a short span of time. The goal here was his dream to learn Kung Fu and the desire behind it was to throw away the cruel Manchu rulers. San Te was a success because he had one desire and hence one dream.

But a human life has a big reservoir of desires and hence dreams keep changing as the grouping of desires continues with different combinations. Out of these, many are directed towards sanity or insanity; higher or lower; grand or trivial; attitude of service or selfishness.

Suppose I opt to build my goal on one dream i.e. a life of divinity, I’ve only got only two choices to exhaust the reservoir of desires -

1) to live through
2) to burn all

Given my familial and cultural conditions as gifts of God, my dream is to desire for the burning of Manchus residing inside.

With a lofty dream to behold, I have no time for distrust, untruth, petty politics, anger, jealousy, hatred, manipulation, mean mindedness or cunningness. Frankly, I have no time at all for those who bring along a whiff of the above with them.

However, I need time

• to realise how insignificant I am in this BIG Cosmos
• to thank my Master for accepting and silently guiding me
• to pray for all those known and unknown faces who help me live
• to sustain harmonious relationships with my dear family and selfless friends
• to enjoy the intake of food and breath
• to appreciate the different functions of my body and creative works of others’ minds
• to write my thoughts as they get chiseled out
• to give back to the world in my trivial way
• to learn to feel oneness in all acts


Now I wonder, how much time do I have to realise my lone dream? :)

Multiplication table

I am glad not to be a part of yesterday’s fiasco. Ask me why? Yesterday was Akshaya Tritiya. Let me assure you that this blog is not to offend people but is a resultant action of some loud thinking. Let me also assure you that I do believe in festivals.

For many years, I’ve seen people madly rushing towards gold shops. They insist that at least a gram of gold is purchased on that day. During my ignorant days/years, I had always thought why God should be so biased to earmark just one day for prosperity. When I understood the significance, I could not stop but pity those who could not. It is sad that people limit their thoughts only to gold.

Why do we also not think in terms of improving and sharing our knowledge or multiplying our acts of charity at least on this day? Why not we pray to God to increase our good and noble thoughts in manifold?

Strangely, Akshaya Tritiya has already become synonymous with gold. I am glad to realise that I had not limited myself in terms of gold so far even once, especially on this day.

I wouldn’t want to identify myself as one in future too. It is only my view though.

In touch with magic? I can't be...

What am I doing these days?

Do not laugh at me when I say this…. I am strictly into the books of Harry Potter series gyrating mentally to the gimmicks of the magic world. One more book to go still. The author, J K Rowling, has wonderfully woven a parallel world that is beautiful and ugly equally.

JKR has sailed the readers through a bumpy road of Harry Potter’s life. Some of the characters portrayed are remarkably superb, say, Albus Dumbledore, Sirius Black, Lupin, Snape etc. I was amazed by the growing and glowing friendship between Harry, Ron and Hermione.

The important points blended subtly in her work are

• ‘Love’ is a powerful shield of protection. Its positive energy destroys negative forces in an instant.
• Mental strength of high order is very important, whether to pursue positive or negative goals of high altitude.
• We have a free will to choose our future.
• Risks fetch faster rewards.
• Fearlessness is one of the very important aspects of success.
• Magic can take life but never give back the life taken (the road of magic ends here pathetically).
• One needs extraordinary willpower and self control not to display their powers.
• Friendship endures and stands by in all hardships.

and many more…

Well, I remember those days wherein I used to forcibly read stories to my tiny tot every night, the practice which I managed to continue till he turned 4 or 5. Later on, to develop a taste for reading, I would sit with him alongside every day with a book encouraging him to read. Now, it is his turn. These days he forces me to read his collections though I have no inclination. To give respect to his feelings and avoid further emotional blackmail (:D), I'd picked up the first book of HP but hooked on to it with a feeling that I’ve re-entered into childhood but in a different dimension. But ask Atul, how poor a reader I am as I could not recollect the characters as accurately and instantly as he does.

People wrongly interpret my adherence to self-listed principles as rigidity and get confused when I say that I read this book or watched that movie. Some even chuckled when I said that I am reading Harry Potter.

It is no magic to write such thick volumes on pseudo magical world and be successful. I realise this closely as my mind does not magically form an array of neatly framed sentences; neither relieves me of writing this blog magically.

That shows to prove that I can never be in touch with magic, for I can never spin magic on anyone or anything. That includes myself. :)

And I need not.

Brace embrace :)

I am back to the bedroom window for another month - the result of abusing my body during the India trip. :) The only hitch this time is that the climate is getting hotter day by day and there is not much charm to view the outside world except for the ever beautiful sky.

This sojourn from the routine (one more time) is going to be a boon, for I have already lined up activities that would keep me busy mentally. Owing to my immobility, I have also requested co-volunteers for the shift in the venue of chyk class to our house so that I can continue to contribute in a minuscule way. A word given (whether casual or serious) is a commitment and I don’t wish to go back on my words any day. Already I have slipped from my commitment for a month because of plaster cast.

Wondering aloud how I managed our India trip with my tattered legs. I look refreshingly nice in all the photos and there seem to be no trace of pain. :) Nobody would believe unless and until they read my detailed travelogue. Of course, there were a lot of motivating factors that numbed my pain superficially to a certain extent. Needless to mention, satsang with Swami Mitrananda and stay in Sidhbari ashram were great morale boosters.

The new ankle brace that has tightly embraced my tender foot has a mission to accomplish - to remind me again that pain is inevitable whereas suffering is optional.

I should be alright in the coming months. All I need is patience, patience and patience. So too my family. :)))

It's not easy to be selfless

During our trip to India (22-31 March, 2009), I anticipated at least one instance of stamping my right foot in our over crowded country but the most dreaded scene didn’t happen thankfully, because of which I have returned home in ‘as is where is’ condition. Don’t ask me what that means. At present, I am clouded with pleasant memories and pampered hospitality which enabled me to leave the pains in the backburner during our long and short walks in India.

Some might have doubted whether I could take up this trip or not, but I just had one thought in my mind and that is ‘I have to go’. I am not writing this with pride but with extreme gratitude to Guru and God whose grace had given me so much of will power, physical stamina and mental strength to withstand pain.

Many a time I had wondered if there could be any plausible connectivity with the people who shower even nano moments of courtesies and kindness on me. This intangible connectivity glitters for a moment to get inspired and vanishes from the sight only to remember the greatness of such souls. Some of them we get to see again and some simply get lost never to be seen or recognized. There were no acts of pretence or lies in their words or actions. They are simple souls leading very ordinary lives. Probably that’s why I carry so much respect for them. It is highly pleasing to realise closely in this trip that this world, especially India, possesses noble hearts even during these periods of selfishness, manipulative intelligence and cunningness.

Well, the effervescence of memories should dance in sequence in my brain in the next couple of days so that I can record them all for my future reference and inspiration. This travelogue (through my eyes) shall be shared through personal mails with co-campers, close friends and relatives.

I understood once again that it’s not easy to be selfless. However, there are many in the world who live a life of selflessness effortlessly. Yes, this journey was worth trodden.

And I know it’s only the beginning for me.

Assortment of thoughts on the 12 year old

After writing the article ‘Baby smile’ late last night, I went to sleep very late as the left over thoughts were rummaging my being for sometime. Today morning, I was woken up at 4:45 a.m. by Atul with a sweet kiss on my cheek and a baby smile, as he wanted me to help him with his Hindi portions for today’s exams.

Thus a long day awaits me today being a weekend. Reclining my plastered right leg on the tower of pillows most of the times, my movements are restricted. Obviously, the bed is strewn with pillows, blanket, books, mobile, phone, laptop and of course me on the edge.

Atul has been very kind to me during this time of trial - ‘Do you want this?’, ‘Don’t walk too much…’, ‘I shall bring water for you.’ ‘Please be careful..’ etc etc. He sets the table, clears it after eating, washes utensils too if need be and helps himself from the kitchen when hungry. But he also proves to be a child.

Even on the crowded bed, Atul fights for his share of pillows and blanket. In fact, he wants to use only those I am using. He wants to sleep with me at night and doesn’t want to understand that his one hard kick would jeopardize my leg. He gets thousands of doubts which need to be cleared with his friends urgently only when I am on phone. He is bored and wants to play games on the laptop only when I am seriously reading or writing something. He trails me wherever I go and sits in front of me.

Every time every day there is a big war of words between us but they are all momentary and meaningless. I know that he cannot take my silence, for he cries like a baby if I declare so. He is full of life unlike me. With cricket on TV on one side, ‘Jai Ho’ (at present) on laptop on the other side, hand swishing the cricket bat or tennis racket, speaking phone every now and then, he claims that he is studying studiously for annual exams. Sometimes, he uses ‘Sing Star’ for relaxation and sings those evergreen songs merrily.

He is bored of seeing the spiritual books around me and pressurizes me to read Harry Potter. He is successful though in thrusting me in this aspect. He wants to go to a school like Hogwarts during summer holidays, swish his magic wand and learn those simple tricks. His eyes glitter with excitement when he talks about the world of magic.

Well, he is a part of ‘awesome threesome’ who have conceived and written a book called FINDERS’ FOUR. A blog on this is long pending from me which I’ll do once they publish the book. In fact, even in this period of exams, he and his friend, Adi find time to think of writing and tuning a song all on their own in Adi’s guitar.

There are more to write, of course. He is making my life’s moments bright, beautiful and wonderful. In a subtler way, he makes me realise that God has been very kind to me. I do not wish to own him or possess him. I do not wish to thrust my opinions or dreams on him.

I always remember Kahlil Gibran’s words…

Your children are not your children
They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself
They come through you but not from you

I want him to dream on his own and enjoy his life as he wants to be. But I would be glad if he makes a positive difference in at least one life in his lifetime and be a contributor in a small way to the society that he is indebted to and the world he is kindly absorbed into.

Baby smile

Every mother would surely agree upon one thing without fail that the period of pregnancy gives maximum joy and tension in their lives. It is a wonderful feeling to carry a baby in the stomach, for the mother feels doubly responsible for the two lives. The subtle bondage that she develops with the baby cannot be explained in words. However, it is also a period of unrest and tension, for there will be a thought at the backdrop that the baby should be devoid of deformities, both physical and mental.



It’s a sight to see the baby immediately after his/her birth - so beautiful, angelic, pure, and softer than a flower. The big responsibility of raising the baby is well hidden under the bewitching smile, small hands, cute little eyes, soft skin etc.

As far as I am concerned, the best part in a human life is the period of babyhood. Whatever be the baby’s caste, creed, colour, religion, nationality, status etc (can't help saying so as some of these things are recorded in the birth card), one can see the beauty, innocence, trust, faith, grace and love in full measure in each of their looks, moves, smiles and touches. I could never resist the temptation of carrying the tender baby in my arms wherever I am. Even in travelling trains, I would have almost always hugged a baby at least for a second. So too most of the people, I believe.

I remember one small incident that happened in Chennai. It was one of those July vacation days and the place was my in-laws’ house. The maid servant had lots of vessels to clean but she had brought her baby to work. While cleaning, she kept her baby on her lap and started doing her work. I chanced to see her and was moved to see the plight of the young lady. In spite of her shyness and refusal (because of respect for me) and my MIL’s shocking face, I took the baby in hand, came to the front side of the house and started walking up and down. Initially the baby made a fuss about the change of warmth that he felt but slowly settled down in my arms. My MIL came running behind me and requested me to give the baby to her too. Well, we were chatting and entertaining the baby as a team effort. When I gave the baby back to the mother saying, ‘You are really fortunate. Your son is very beautiful and adjusting,’ I saw a mixture of gratitude and pride on her face with a broad innocent smile. Ha.. I felt that the mother too had become a baby at that moment.



The outside knowledge that we accrue so vehemently gives intelligence in abundance but erases innocence in the bargain. There is attraction and appreciation for accumulated intelligence everywhere whereas the inborn innocence is left in the bin deep inside to shine among garbage. There is a judgment passed by every speck of displayed intelligence whereas innocence could understand and express only love, affection and care.

Why do we fail to realise that the manipulating intelligence destroys our peace most of the times?

Why not we give a genuine, warm smile straight from the heart just like the baby does?

Is it not that the Higher Intelligence and Innocence one and the same?

Why do we allow dirt and dust to accumulate in our baby smiles as we grow along with intelligence?