The day I was informed of my mother’s illness and her serious condition, I packed a small baggage of clothes and flew to Mumbai immediately. Never gave a thought how my son and husband would manage without me, given the fact the erratic work timings of my husband. At that time, I didn’t know that I would return home only after two months but victorious.
Amma developed an imbalance in oxygen and carbon-dioxide ratio in her blood, due to which she was literally kissing death every day of her stay in ICU for 22 days. My sisters did come and stay for a week or 10 days but their work schedule back in Chennai could not allow them beyond that.
Amma’s fair hands and thighs became black due to blood tests conducted twice a day. I had to cut her thick, long hair short out of compulsion (of course with her permission in a semi-conscious state) as it was becoming unmanageable to comb what with all the tubes around. Still she was grace personified.
It was my brother and I, who accompanied Amma back from the hospital in a semi-conscious condition on the evening of 22nd January, 2007. My brother had to join duty on 23rd as he had already taken leave for more than a month.
I was left all alone to manage my mother. In fact, the doctors had clearly stated that there might not be any improvement in her condition and that she may have to live in this condition for the rest of her life, given her weight and age factors.
A sudden shrill went through my spine – what if I goof up something, what if I sleep in the night when her oxygen cylinder becomes empty, what if I don’t set her bipap properly, what if she doesn’t respond to whatever I do or give, what if I don’t hear when she cries for my help……. endless sleepless nights and nightmares or it looked so…….
She responded beautifully to my hand of care. In fact, I treated her like my little child. I was thrilled to see the improvements in her everyday, which I would report to my brother promptly in the night. She was positive to my encouraging words.
I was overjoyed every time when she could grasp a spoon with shaking hands, a glass of water with spillage here and there, medicines swallowed as whole instead of powdering them, sitting on the bed then falling on the bed immediately, her first failed and faltered step, her stepping out of the bedroom with my support, her satisfied look upon sitting on the sofa of the living room, her renewed interest at the television serial, her supported walk to bathroom, her reaction to the first droplets of water that fell on her……
It was a miracle, so said the doctors. It was all possible because of
• prayers of well wishers
• mother’s positive thinking
• brother’s unconditional support
• my son’s understanding
• my husband’s kind gesture
She is now without oxygen support, walks on her own inside the house and lives a cheerful life.
God is all merciful that He wants her children to enjoy the love of at least one parent for some more time as my father died 11 years back.
P.S. This article is written only from my point of view
11 comments:
Dear Padmaja
I know what was your state of mind on hearing the news of your Mother's illness and how rightly you responded by taking the responsibility of looking after her.
It was indeed a kid gesture from your husband and son for having understood the seriousness of the issue.
God has indeed blessed you by curing your Mother from a bad state to a much better state now.
Above all, your prayers and your dedication, your nursing and your efforts in feeding her confidence are much commendable Padmaja. You have st an example as to how a daughter should be and your husband and so have set an example as to how a supporting family should be like. This is a lesson that everybody staying away from their old parents should learn. We are indirectly teaching our children also as to how to react at such times though none of us expect the same from our kids.
A very nice article and since I know the entire episode, I could feel them much better than mere words.
When I read this article, I felt even more that how kind and caring person you are Padmaja. My prayer was there for your mother and still pray for her good health. I thank God for helping your mother to get back to normal life. I truly believe that prayers do help and kind words are powerful to turn impossible to possible. My respectful wishes to you.
Recently, a friend in our tamil forum has asked to pray for his mother as his mother was suffering from breathlessness. Doctors could not provide any answer to him and asked him to wait for 48 hours. He asked tamil forum friends to pray for his mother and as these friends had gone to Kanchipuram at that time, they did pooja and archana in the temple. His mother recovered and doctors said to him that this was possible because of God's grace. When he mentioned this and thanked everyone in the tamil forum, I felt very happy. Prayers do save people. I did pray for his mother.
When I spoke to another person, from our tamil forum, who suffered sudden cardiac arrest, he said to me that because of God's grace he was saved and his doctor mentioned to him that no one would survive with this massive block in the blood vessels without God's help. We all prayed for him.
I was very unfortunate not to save my mother when she was suffering from heart disease. I fell unconciously two weeks before my mother's death and I had a strange feeling that I should go and see her before her death. My brother went to our village in that weekend and he came back but did not say anything to me. I was not comfortable for another two days and had a dream about my mother leaving me in the night and I received the message in the following morning that my mother passed away that night. I was shocked and did not want to live at all.
Two weeks before my mother's death, I went to Srirangam temple and did archana and paid donation in that temple. The person who received donation said to me ''Give your address, I will send prasada to you'' once I heard these words from him, I gave my address but some strange thought went in my mind that time like this, what a death prasada?. Same day night I fell unconcious. I never received the prasada from the temple but I did receive the death message. I was very angry with myself and I fooled myself in front of the God. It still haunts me, but I never stopped believing Him. We could not save my mother as we were not near by her and my prayer was faulty. She was alone, even my father went away that day.
When I think about my mother, I could not stop my eyes filled with tears as I get like this when I think about God as well.
Your article is a very good reminder to everyone to look after parents who showed us this world and not forgetting the superior God.
I promised myself that I speak Truth, only about Truth. I will not question integrity of the Truth at any point from this day of my life. I had enough of wandering in NO-NO land.
Thank you Padmaja.
Dear Latha,
There were many tensed moments that could not be contained in one blog, like sleeping continuously for nearly 2 days (non-stop). If left, she would slip into coma stage.
Well, all I wonder is whether I would be positive enough to react the same way my mother did in that condition.
Very touching account, Radha. It is very painful to lose the dear ones. I am at loss of words. Thank you.
A very sincere and moving account, Padmaja.
As the other visitor Radhakrishnan says, the material shows - though that was not your intention in writing this - what a kind and caring person you are.
It reminded me of the time when my mother was terminally ill about 27years ago and how she conducted herself with so much dignity in the face of a great deal of suffering.
One of the great moments in it was that her friend's daughter, Susila, (about 16 then)liked her so much that she spent a good deal of her time with my mother. Susila's married and moved to America and my sister in Singapore is still in close contact with her family.
The incident just shows me still to look at the beauty of life no matter what.
Thanks for sharing these moments through this blog.
Precious are life's moments for they teach us lessons to learn.
Many times, the connectivity between two persons happens for no clear reason (to our naked eyes). I am glad that your mother and her friend's daughter found sometime together to realise this bonding.
I am honoured by your visit. Thanks, Raj.
Dear Padmaja,
Amma keeps telling that if at all she is able to recover, it is mainly because of your care and affection during that period. Her stay in ICU and the agonies all of us had gone through are beyond my comprehension now. Lord Tennyson said, "More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of". This is a fitting example to that.
- Ravi
Well said, Ravi. Thanks for dropping by.
A very moving account, Padmaja! I am really sorry to hear of the tough time your family went through! But I am glad you all dealt with this ordeal wonderfully! My best wishes to your mother, to you and your family. I will pray for the well-being of you all.
Love,
Me
Pains and pleasures are inevitable crests and troughs of life. Sometimes, it becomes too difficult to bear but ultimately as an in-built mechanism, we all survive with determination somehow.
Thanks for your best wishes, dear Me.
Padnaja. this post is so pathetic, i feel like crying, remembering my mother who is no more.I feel the vexation and the difficulties u have surmounted to bring her back to a convalescing stage at least. Miraculous!. the way u have depicted the whole experience is mind boggling... Congrats. for saving yr mom and for writing it in a very sensitive manner... kunjubi
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